Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why is it more socially acceptable for a custodial mother to stay home and collect PA than it is for a custodial father to stay home and collect PA?

Why the double standard?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on Jun. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (26)
  • I think because in today's society people think men should work no matter what their situation. Also statistically men rarely get custody of their children. I know it ihappens as my brother has his daughter, but he still works a 50 hour a week job. I think that every situation is differnt and I don't judge those who do things whichever way they think is best for them and their children.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 9:47 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I think our society just feels a MAN should be working and it isn't usually the norm, so this is why. I do know that most States won't give assistance to male or female with out some kind of program to help get them off of PA.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:53 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I would say in a divorce situation...it would be more acceptable, just because SAHM's usually spend thier children's lives at home. They don't go out and work and have no work history...at least since they've become parents. I'm not saying it's the best situation...but it's the situation that women get into when they don't work at all while they're mothers...even if it was a part time weekend job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Well I think that a women should work no matter the circumstances as well, and should only collect PA if their children are ill long term and can provide a doctors note that the child should not attend daycare. The same goes for men in the same situation. That is what I did. Men and women should work and not be on PA, they should work and get FS, and daycare assistance, Medicaid if needed, but aleast try to work, even if it is only minimum wage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I didn't realize either was socially acceptable. I worked after my divorce and I never considered staying home and collecting PA an option. What kind of example does that set for your children?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • It isn't. You need to get off your butt and get a job instead of collecting PA. After some things I learned last week about a so-called friend of mine who has been lying to collect PA and whose husband got called back to work in April after allegedly being out of work for months, and he turned it down because he wants to start his own business, I have no sympathy whatsoever for people on PA. Unless you are severely disabled, you can work. There are jobs available around where I live, but this person I know is too good for THOSE jobs. He'd rather tell his sob stories and get people to feel sorry for him and his family, and I was one of the suckers who fell for it. No more. Dig ditches or shovel horse manure, I don't care. You do what you have to do to take care of your family and don't depend on other people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Most states don't let either parent do that for long. Most states make the parent get a job or take classes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I don't think it is acceptable for anyone to sit home and draw PA! Unless they can prove that they have a disability, or one of their children or spouse has a disability that requires care they cannot get elsewhere, then they should have to have a job to qualify for any type of PA.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Niether are acceptable so I suspect this "question" is just to make trouble. The vast majority of men don't want to stay home with the children even to be able to collect welfare and not have to work. So I highly doubt this is something that is happening.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Anon 10:35 needs a reality check. Do you not watch the news? Right now there are very few jobs. I myself have never been on PA and I know some people abuse it, but plenty of people who are on it use it the way it is meant to be used. Do you realize how little people get while they're on PA? Obviously a lot less than you think.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN