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Was I overreacting or was it long over due?

My mother has a friends daughter for 2 weeks. She will be 12 next month and I have known her her whole life. Well I have watched her almost every day last week taking her places so she can enjoy her time here. Well my mom drops her off Friday at my office around 5:45 or so. I get off at 5PM. No big deal I didn't mind staying late. So they get here, the girl and my daughter and my mom starts her normal round of insults. Starting with my gaining weight (I am pregnant and she is probably almost 300 pounds) I ignore the comment like I always do and we move on. Then she makes a comment about my house and how she doesn't let her carpets get stained and her coffee tables dirty. I let that one roll off me. Then she started in on me watching the girl and giving me instructions like I hadn't had her all of that week. She says I need to call her so she doesn't worry, telling me she tried to call me for an hour one night when ..cont.

 
Savymom25

Asked by Savymom25 at 10:14 AM on Jun. 14, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (964 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Without reading any further, I think that your mom is a bee-iotch. Sorry, I don't think that you were in the wrong here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I had her which is total bull. Well she went on to say that she is responsible for her and she was worried and blah blah. Well I understand that and I had her call my mother every time I thought there was an issue. My mother knew where we were and what we were doing. So anyway I exploded. I told her if she didn't trust me then I didn't need to have her so my mother should take her and watch her. I also said if she didn't have anything nice to say to me then she should keep her freaking mouth shut. I told her I was sick to death with her bullshit. Well her eyes got HUGE and she ended up taking the girl (which I felt really bad about) and I closed up at work and I went home. Well she called me to say she was sorry and this is how she said it, "I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I think its just your hormones" so she said she was sorry but blamed me for it anyway... she also told the girl that she thought...cont.
    Savymom25

    Answer by Savymom25 at 10:19 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • my husband and I had a fight before I got there because I never act like that. So she is not taking responsibility for her actions at all. I told my husband that this is it. I am so sick of her always telling me what I am doing wrong and how I need to do things this way and how freaking perfect she makes herself out to be. She yells at my child and tells lies to people. Even told a lie and put my name on it....so it got back to me and I had to deal with drama from something that I didn't even say. So what I want to know is did I over react or was that just years of pent up aggression?
    Savymom25

    Answer by Savymom25 at 10:21 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • you did not over react. If it were my mom, I would not even bother speaking to her, especially if she brings on a lot of drama. Your child doesn't need to here you mother put you down, and if she does it to you she'll do it to your kid. I wouldn't talk to her for a long time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • *Hear
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • no... i think you didn't react enough...LOL! You're mom needs to be taught a lesson somehow. That is not how you talk to people, ESPECIALLY your daughter!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:26 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I wish it were that simple. But I am made of different stuff and I could never put her out of my life completely. She has a pool that my daughter loves to swim in. She is taking care of my grandparents, who I love and to see them I have to see her (and she yells at them to) . I just am not going to take it anymore. This is the reaction she will get from now on and I hope that she will soon realize that it is because she is a heartless, thoughtless person and not because I am fighting with my husband, had a bad day, or because I am freaking pregnant.
    Savymom25

    Answer by Savymom25 at 10:30 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Sounds like your mom is the one with the "over reacting" issue, not you.
    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 10:38 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • She sounds like my mom. I also get told how hard it was to deal with me growing up and how she had no support, so, even though I am on my own and buying a house and paying my bills on my own...she will still talk to my like I am two and couldn't make it without her expert advice on everything. And everything is always my fault...blah, blah, blah. She hates everything thing I do and how I do it. I haven't yelled yet, but, it getting close. I did take my son and disappear for 3 years because of how she acts. She had threatened to kill me...the main reason i left. LOL Yeah, my mom is a bi-atch too. She would have tried to hit me if I yelled at her and I would have had to call 911 to arrest her though. You did a good job, keep it up.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:38 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • You do not have to cut her of yet! But you have to understand that she will never change, she has been doing this for a long time.

    So all you can do is tell her how you feel and you will not put up with BS anymore. You have to be firm and do not allow her to talk to you like that any more. As soon as you think she may say something, just tell her STOP NO! be nice. And if she keeps it up than walk away.

    I have dealt with women like this in my family and let me tell you, you have to strong or she will get worse. Good Luck
    (i had to cut off my MIL because of this and a sister)
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:54 AM on Jun. 14, 2010

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