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I don't treat my children like I should...

I am a mom of three (6,3, and a newborn) and I am really annoyed by my two oldest. They annoy me to the point where I don't want to be bothered with them. I love them, and would never want anything to happen to them, but I don't like them much. I find myself yelling at them a lot. When it comes to spending time with them, I don't do it. When I wake up in the morning I am okay until one of them comes in whinning about being hungry or wanting something. My DH has even started to notice and told me that I don't treat them right. I've never physically hurt them or anything, but, I know what I am doing is hurting them emotionally. I've been through it myself as a kid. I don't know how to stop. It's usually just the kids and I (due to my hubby working), and it makes me crazy. I don't like that I do this and I want to know if anyone can help with ideas.

* I'm looking for advice. Not confirmation on how I'm being a bad mom.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jun. 14, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Just remember that your kids are people with feelings! Really think about what I just said....

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 7:16 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • you mentioned you have a newborn, are you possibly sufferin from PPD? You may want to speak to your OB regardless about how you've been feeling. Good luck mama, hang in there!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I agree with the PPD. Talk to your Dr. I dont think its normal to feel that way unless you have something going on. Better get yourself checked out, some meds could really help you function better and all your family would be happier!

    There is nothing wrong with seeking help or going on meds, they helped my SIL a lot after the birth of her baby!

    Call your Dr tomorrow!

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 7:31 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Well if you went through the same thing as a kid that might be why you are doing it to your kids! You may hate how you treat them but it's in your nature! Talk to someone! I know what you're going through and I only have 1. My mom yelled A LOT at my brother and I and I tend to find myself yelling like she did sometimes. What I do is I take a step back and listen to how I sound. I think about how I would feel if someone heard the way i was talking. Once I do that I realize how bad I sound and I stop! If all else fails I call my grandma and she is there. Try and find a friend or family member you can call when the kids get on your nerves WHICH IS NORMAL! Nobody is saying they are going to not drive you coo-coo bananas sometimes because all kids do! PM me if you need someone to talk to OK?

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 7:32 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • I think it's completely normal to get frustrated by your kids but you have to figure out a way to handle it. I agree with the pp's it could be PPD or you could simply be overwhelmed. Try talking to a doctor. Can you ask your mom or a friend to come over and help you out once in a while to give you a break? Think of some fun stuff to do with your kids. You need to have fun with them and enjoy this precious time while they are young. Then they won't seem like "work". I hope it gets better. I'm sorry you're going through this but I think it's great that you can admit it and look for help. A lot of people can't even do that. Good luck.

    Answer by jenae_gist at 7:44 PM on Jun. 14, 2010

  • Your a mom with a newborn. Your exhausted and whining kids doesn't help. Try to take better care of yourself so you will feel better. Do yoga, drink multivitamins, eat well and bring your kids out every day. Being out will lift up your moods. Hope you feel better soon.

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 12:09 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I was the same way for a long time and you know what? Anti-depressants have made all the difference in the world. Even if you don't think you are depressed you may be. Talk to your doctor about this. I am so serious. My ability to cope and have patience with my kids is soooo much better. Call them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I have cried myself to sleep at night after days that I realized I yelled at my kids too much! My mom yelled at my sister and I consistently and I 100% want to be NOTHING like she was! The best thing for me has been to find an activity outside of the home that doesn't involve kids at all that I do on a regular basis! You could probably really benefit from doing this! I chose going back to school, because not only is it helpful for our future, but also my husband couldn't complain about it. That you realize what you are doing is the first step!! Kudos for trying to find a solution and change your ways!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

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