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Should I let my Kids see thier dad who is batteling Leukemia?

Me and the father are no longer together but has been diagnosed with Leukemia so the last few months have been really tough, Me and him were not on talking terms when he was diagnosed and now that he is sick I try to let our children see we can get along, But his new girlfriend (who is pregnant with his child) does not allow me to visit the father in the hospital or talk to him, me and her have had our words before and she has no respect for me even now she talks bad about me to and in front of my children. I took our kids to see their dad out of state on my time and my money to see their dad and he would not allow me to be with my kids as they had to see their dad with no hair, eyebrows, and soars on his mouth, so my kids had to deal with that with out me. The worst is he does not appreciate the effort i am trying to make. What would you do? Would you let your children go around even though they are always bad mouthing me?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jun. 15, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • You NEED to let the kids see their Dad. He's sick right now. Your kids need to see him. It's not about you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Yes you should. No matter how hard it is on you, they need to see him while he is going through this. What if he died? Do you want your children to resent you for keeping them away from their dad when he is sick and/or dying?
    If you conduct yourself in a nice manner, your kids will remember that when they are older and respect you for it. Kids are not blind, they see how the new girlfriend and their dad is treating them. Hold your head up and know you are the better person in this situation.
    Big hugs!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:18 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • i would put his girlfriend in her place. tell her that you dont care how jelous she is, those are his kids and if they want to see their dad they will. i would honestly leave it up to them. ask them if they want to go. it's really hard to see a parent sick like that. let them know if they dont want to you understand and you wont make them. as for him i would call and talk to him about it. just because you are not together doesnt mean you cant talk about your kids. tell him you are trying very hard to give him a relationship with his kids but he is not being supportive. i would also ask if he wants them to visit. he may not want them to see him like that.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 1:20 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • You NEED to let the kids see their Dad. He's sick right now. Your kids need to see him. It's not about you.

    This^^^^^^
    momtolucas2002

    Answer by momtolucas2002 at 2:40 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I would say you should put everything aside right now and let your children see their father. If the worst happens to him, God forbid, you will never forgive yourself if you don't.
    biebermommy

    Answer by biebermommy at 5:14 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • it has got to be so hard on everyone, but like you are already doing, put your kids first. kids cope so much better than adults. be there for them when you can. and try to let the garbage between the adults just be.
    i wish you and your kids the best of luck, and health.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:28 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • "i would put his girlfriend in her place. tell her that you dont care how jelous she is, those are his kids and if they want to see their dad they will. i would honestly leave it up to them. ask them if they want to go. it's really hard to see a parent sick like that. let them know if they dont want to you understand and you wont make them. as for him i would call and talk to him about it. just because you are not together doesnt mean you cant talk about your kids. tell him you are trying very hard to give him a relationship with his kids but he is not being supportive. i would also ask if he wants them to visit. he may not want them to see him like that."
    THIS^^^
    bethany169

    Answer by bethany169 at 12:46 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Honestly it is a tough decision. I don't think I'd allow it. While I understand the need for the children to see their dad I wouldn't want my children to have to see their dad so sick without me being there to reassure them and even more so if their dad's girlfriend is going to bad mouth me in front of them. Given that he is so sick he and his girlfriend should stop being so petty and act like grown ups for the sake of his children. If he wants to see his children the badmouthing needs to stop at the very least. Does the hospital offer any services such as counseling for the children? My cousin was once in a medicine induced coma for 17 days because her smoking and asthma weakened her lungs to the point she wasn't strong enough to breathe on her own, during the coma her son was 7 years old and the hospital had a counselor speak to him about what was happening to his mom. Luckily my cousin made a full recovery and quit smoking.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • hmmm that is a tough one. How old are your kids? If they are 6 or older I would ask them and let it be their choice. Don't underestimate their decision making abilities. They may feel uncomfortable and may not want to-but if they do then I would not deprive them. I would not ask questions like what did sew and sew say about me, and if they brought it up that sew and sew said X then I would say, well it doesn't bother me, I know the truth and change the subject. I always hated going on visitation and someone "picking" me about the otherside.
    Tnamari

    Answer by Tnamari at 2:12 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • If they are not married, she cannot prevent you from going to the hospital
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:03 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

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