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What to do when your relationship is sinking?

i just feel so helpless! somewhere over the years i have gone so far from where i thought my life would be like, i dont even recognize myself! how can "love" make you so blind? my bf and i have been together for 4 years and it doesnt keep getting better, everything just slowly seems to be fading away. hes always tired and ill, hes young and always seems to be resentful of me being a SAHM although it was what we agreed. he knows daycare is too expensive but i get all the unspoken anger since he has to support me and bills by himself. i work PT but only enough to pay for small stuff like the internet and water bill and have some pocket change. i dont feel special or important, i feel like a leech sucking the life out of him. he expects me to take care of everything at home and just leave him be to hang out or lay back and watch tv. i feel more like a burden, we hardly even kiss and sex is like 3 times a month if im lucky!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Jun. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Relatioships are still work after you have 'caught' each other. It doesn't sound like either of you is putting much effort into the relationship. You need to sit down and talk about what is going on and how you can make it better. It takes both of you to fix things and if you can't talk it out, then there's really not a point to being together.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:16 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Are you confident that you both agreed for you to stay home? Was it a case of you explaining how expensive daycare would be and him just giving in? I'm not trying to bash, it just seems that you are not the only one who is disappointed in the marriage. I believe that if you got a full time job you would feel better about yourself, and in turn maybe better about the relationship. The stress he is under would also decrease. Reasonable daycare can be found, check the local papers.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:18 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Maybe you should start watching a couple of kiddos in your house for extra money? It sounds like your both stressed and have no money or time to buikd your relationship,,,,I would try to get a job in a daycare,, alot of times your kiddo can go with you for free or a reduced rate,, plus you would get to see the kiddo while you worked. good luck momma
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:16 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I would go back to college and find your passion a career you can also start a play group or have some time to yourself. Its hard because I was in your position once and I decided to get a job and trade daycare or babysitting with someone from one of the playgroups I was in. You need to sit down and work it out with him maybe you can work nights or the oposite of when he works and he can watch the child while you work and you can work without child care. But you still have to talk to him about the relationship and where he sees it going how you both see it in five years from now? GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:21 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • You have to talk with him.
    If he feels that you are a burdon, that you are a leach, then you ask him what he'd like to do. Does he want to seperate, does he want to work it out, what does he want? You have to find a common ground together, otherwise things aren't going to get better. You have to communicate with one another and find out what it is that is making this relationship sink.

    When you two have shared your feelings, hopefully in a civilized manner, then you can go from there. Just keep the communication open.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:13 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

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