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Do you mind disclosing personal/financial information to your close friends? Or is it a big no-no to you?

My dad raised me to believe your finanical information (how much money you make, what your vehicles, home, accounts are worth, etc.) is personal and not only are you not suppose to discuss these things, it is rude to do so (like with extended family and friends). Well I have a friend who doesn't have a very good job and doesn't make much money, but she is constantly asking me questions about how much money we make, and how we can afford to do this, or do that, or how much our house payments are, and that type of stuff. I find it to be rude, but I don't know how to handle it.

Do you find this type of questioning rude or offensive, or is it fine to discuss? If you don't want to discuss it, how do (nicely) explain that to someone?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Jun. 15, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (10)
  • I don't discuss it. So I simply say that I don't discuss my finances and leave it at that. No explanation needed.
    Bezu

    Answer by Bezu at 10:48 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Why is she asking? Is she asking to be nosy or is she asking because it will somehow benefit her. SOME of my friends and I will discuss financial things with each other. For example before I bought my house my friends shared how much their heat bills were etc. This helped me figure out what I could afford and gave me an idea of what future bills would be.
    If you really don't want to discuss it then just simply tell her.
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 10:52 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I am a college student right now so I do not make much and I have people who look at me when I go to Starbucks but my SO still gives me a couple bucks because he know the business I have will take off just tell her this is not a subject I feel comfortable discussing . You have to be honest about it and tell her straight out this is not a topic you wish to discuss. Do it in a way that is not rude but be honest and tell her how it makes you feel.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:53 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • i'm was raised the same way you were. it's personal. tell her that you just really are not comfortable talking about your finances with her, or anyone. it's nothing against her, just not something you discuss with anyone other than your husband.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • In that situation I would not give amounts and just say general things. You can say we make enough, we try to save as much as we can so we don't have to worry, we are lucky to have found good jobs, I guess we're just lucky, it hasn't always been like this, we didn't start out like this, it's taken us a long time to get to this point, etc. I find it rude too, but it may just be that your friend is trying to figure out how to get herself in a better psoition and you are her example of where she'd like to be. If you think she might be trying to find her own way to a better life it would be very generous of you to share how you got where you are, but if she is just being nosy I'd change the subject.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • It doesn't really come up...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:19 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Hahahaha your friend sounds like me! We are low income college students right now. But personal finances is my passion so I love hearing all the details on people's financial lives and I'm more than willing to share the details from our financial lives. I know one friend I have that makes more than we do and she was telling me how they started a Roth IRA and I was able to explain to them in more detail what that is and how it works. I don't know- for them I think it was a win-win. I have knowledge, they have money. And I'll give free financial advice :) I'm sure others might find it annoying, but I can take a hint if they don't want to talk about the details.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • OP Here: I don't mind talking about the "in generals" but when she flat out asks me, "How much money do you make a year?" I just want to tell her she is being rude! I understand not everyone feels that these questions are rude, but holy cow.. its just kind weird.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I think it's rude. We discuss that sort of thing with my in-laws but they are non-judgmental most times they are asking about certain things to make sure we're getting a fair deal. Like with our house and our car, etc. They like to help out with stuff, too, so they'll ask about the price of whatever it is they've decided they want to pay for. They bought our daughter's crib and changing table, so when we bought them, they asked how much it was and then sent us a check. Depending on what it is with other people, then I get annoyed. No one has really asked in awhile, though. Since I stay home, though, I can always play dumb and pretend like I don't know how much my husband makes.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 7:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Just tell her I don't discuss personal finances with anyone.  The subject close.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 12:05 AM on Jun. 30, 2010

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