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Need help!!! My husband keeps freaking out.

He came home the other night after working for 12 hours. I was upstairs, and he sat down. His hamper had all the clothes on the floor. I asked "How come all these clothes are on the floor?" Honestly just curious, what he was looking for. He FREAKED. Said I had an attitude, and he deserves some respect after working all those hours for us. Then today, he's laying on the couch talking on the phone. He's ALWAYS on the phone when he's home. I say "You're always on the phone." He freaks again. I tell my mom, she says do you ever stop nagging him? I honestly wasn't trying to, I know it came out that way. I should have worded it differently. I just miss him and don't want to spend another day with him on the phone, and me on the computer. But now he's in a rage, and there is no talking to him when he's like this. I'm just so sick of fighting in front of our baby...What should I do? (He went for a drive)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jun. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • send him a text, or leave him a handwritten note. find a babysitter, fast..... invite him on a date night and tell him you miss him.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 12:20 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • he seems very stressed. i always know my husband is bugging out when he has to go for a drive too
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 12:20 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • maybe the clothes on the floor was a sign for you to wash his clothes. Maybe he was pissy that they werent washed. Sometimes i know my dh is pissed if havent done anything (or if he FEELS i havent done anything) he will come straight home and start cleaning. I'm like "what the hell are you doing" and he will say "oh, the house is such a mess and it needs cleaned" ...it drives me nuts.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:27 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Sounds like he hears what you say to him as some kind of accusation, no matter what your intent. There is a wonderful little book that helped me so much in this area. It is FOR BETTER OR FOR BEST by Gary Smalley. The subtitle is "A valuable guide to knowing, understanding, & loving your husband."
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:32 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • he does seem stressed and tired, you need to talk to him (without the baby around) and tell him how you feel. maybe if you open up, he may open up if something else is bugging him. communication is a HUGE factor in a relationship.
    nickellmomof2

    Answer by nickellmomof2 at 12:35 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • there is a major communication problem - he is not understanding you for whatever reason and it doesn't sound like you are able to effectively communicate with him. nothing is going to get resolved until you can both speak and hear each other in a calm adult conversation. don't blame yourself for his stresses, misinterpretations, rages, just find a way to do your part in helping the situation and see that he also does his.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:45 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Try using I statements. "I would like you to spend time with me" ect. Drop the statements that start with you. Before you talk to him think about what you want to say and work to say it from how you feel and not what you think he should do.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:38 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

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