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What do you do when your children are fighting constantly?

I have two girls, ages 5 and 4. Usually they're very close but like most sisters they've had some fights too. For two days now they've been fighting non stop. Yesterday my 4 year old ripped her big sister's brand new bathing suit and then my 5 year shoved her little sister hard enough to send her flying back a good foot onto her butt. They've been shoving each other and throwing each other to the ground with an array of name calling. Their fights don't usually last this long. I tried separating them and that works for a little while. One minute they're aplogizing and hugging and then one gets pissed off at the other and it starts all over again. On Sunday my 5 year old is going to the beach with her dad, my 4 year old doesn't like the beach much (or her dad's girlfriend) so she chose to stay home. I think the day apart will do good for both of them. Does anyone have any suggestions to stop the bickering until then?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Jun. 15, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I simply put them in separate rooms for a while. Make them play alone. They will get to the point where being nice is better than being alone.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:24 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I have no idea but when you find out let me know lol. My 5 year old and 2.5 year old fight constant. My 5 year old is the one that starts it too she will do something to my youngest that will set her off then that is it. I tell myself it will be easier once my oldest starts school in the fall so we will see lol

    Answer by mommy5409 at 1:32 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • {OP}: lol my 5 year old got such a little attitude after she started school. I didn't think little kids could have such an ego but my DD is one of the popular girls and is one of the top students in her class and she knows it! She's still a wonderfully kind child and helps out around the house, picks up her own room without complaint but she tends to talk with an attitude more often. I'm hoping the fighting will get better when both are in school this fall. Then they'll have their own friends and can concentrate on their own things rather than my 5 year old constantly reminding her sister that she's in school and her sis isn't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I heard about this recently. A woman had the same thing happen to her and her brother growing up. Their mom tied them together for a day. They had to do everything together. Eat, sleep, go to the bathroom. They learned to work together and didnt fight as bad after that. I know it may seem harsh but I think separating them wont do anything except teach them they dont need to get along.

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 1:54 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Be a mediator and help them talk to each other when they get frustrated with each other. Show them that they can be angry but also get what they want from each other and also teach them and show them that when they are angry instread of hurting one another they need to step away and get their anger out away from the situation - then come back and talk about it. If you help them learn to talk to each other and talk out their frustrations they won't end up hitting each other.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • My mom used to make us sit next to each other for half the day. We used to sit so quietly trying to ignore the other. We would fall asleep because I guess we got bored of not doing anything and wary of not talking to each other. I made sure we didn't get that punishment again. It was so humiliating because I had to be next to her and could not say what I wanted to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • First they go to timeout in the corner and then they go to their rooms (hopefully separate rooms) until they are ready to get along.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:47 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • Hitting/pushing/aggression gets a time out. Totally against house rules. If they are just bickering and annoying each other (and me!) I send them to separate rooms to play alone until they are ready to co-operate and play nicely. It usually doesn't take too long until they are lonely and ready to get along.

    Answer by Freela at 8:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

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