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I know in my heart of hearts it is over, I am not sure how to proceed without hurting anyone.

I am for all intensive purposes done with my marriage. I do not loathe my husband, I am simply not in love with him anymore. I am growing resentful of having had to sacrafice so much over the years and of being the only one that pays the bills. I am tired of having to be the responsible one all the time and for once I would love someone to take care of me. In my years of unhappiness I did something I never planned on doing and I never intended upon doing. I found someone else and I truly feel for him the way I never felt for any other man, including my husband. I feel that makes me a horrible person, but in reality I only really want happiness and I am 99.9% sure that this man can give me this (because nothing is ever 100%). Of course this is anything but simple and I realize I should not have allowed myself to fall in love with someone else while still married but we are realistic and now things take time.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jun. 15, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • there is no way to end a relaionship without hurting someone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • You are not a horrible person for wanting to find happiness in this lifetime. Life is short. Embrace it and enjoy it. Just tell dh that it's no longer working and you think it's best to part ways and get on with your lives. This is why I think marriage should be a negotiable contract renewable every 5 yrs. I told my teachers that back in high school and they laughed. I still think it is a good idea but you didn't ask me that part so I won't editorialize
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:37 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • i think its sad because a family is about to be torn in half. did you talk to him about this? why arent you in love with your dh? have you tried to fix your marriage? there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, the only time its wrong is when you havent tried to fix what you already have BEFORE moving on. even if you leave you dh, you shouldnt just jump into a new relationship, whats wrong with taking time out to work on yourself? people are so quick to jump from one person to the next, which drags along baggage and hurt that hasnt had time to heal. is he abusive, a druggie, or habitual cheater? if not then why not try to get the spark back. look around CM and you will know a good man is hard to find. you owe your husband and children a family, you should try everythingto save your family before you decide to leave for another man... also, what makes u think this guy is a keeper when he is helping you cheat on your family
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 4:11 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

  • I know for a fact that there is no way around hurting someone, but you just have to be honest with him and do it. I had to.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:22 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • The grass is always greener until you have to mow it. Get rid of the one you have before you move on. You are entitled to happiness, but have more self respect and get a divorce before moving on to someone else.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 12:16 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I feel like your decision has already been made. It sounds like you will be leaving your husband to be with another man. Statistically this rarely works out. The ideal thing to do would be to end your marriage then take 6 months to a year to work on yourself and deal with the end of your marriage. After that is over when you feel ready it would be a good time to explore other relationships. I feel like that ship has sailed for you, but I wish you all the best luck!
    ErinRenee815

    Answer by ErinRenee815 at 5:29 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

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