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How do I help my daughter adjust to new baby?

Hi all, I have a beautiful 7 year old daughter that will be 8 yrs old next month and a 6 month old baby. My daughter was really good about a new baby in the family when I was pregnant and even when she was a newborn but lately my daughter has been asking me why I spend so much time with the baby and not her. The thing is, I do try to spend time with her- I take her to the movies (just me her and her dad) roller skating, and the library with just us and I read to her at night, but I don't know what else to do to help her not feel displaced and to help her grow fond of the new baby.

 
kittymom83

Asked by kittymom83 at 11:50 PM on Jun. 15, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 6 (138 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Maybe on one of your outings you can talk to her about this and ask her what she's like you to do. I had my youngest when my oldest was almost 2 and it was really hard on her...she didn't come around my youngest for months...she wouldn't even wanna give her a kiss. I wouldspend alot of time with her but then had to spend time with my baby too I just found it better to spend time with the both of them once my youngest got a little older but I still do things with them seperately and my oldest does tell me how she wants us to spend time...I do praise her alot but it does get hard after the first one cause you don't wanna leave anyone out. Sometimes there feelings are gonna get hurt, no matter what you try to do. Good luck...just have open communication with her.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 3:34 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • you are doing all you can, it sounds like, and I mean this in the best way...that she is manipulating you with guilt. she is old enough to be reasonable about the time a baby needs. remind her that the baby may need to be paid attn alot, but with her its special time as she is a big girl who can do so much. she will be ok hon, hang in there.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:00 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Hi there, thanks for the post. I believe what your saying is very true because she is saying this on a daily basis. I'm spending just as much time with her as I did before the baby was born and I am lucky enough to live with my mom so that I can leave the baby time to time and just spend time with her. I think she knows that when she says this I will feel bad and try to spoil her a bit more. I did not expect this to be so hard!
    kittymom83

    Answer by kittymom83 at 12:03 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I wonder if you are trying TOO hard to make things "even" and that is making it a bigger deal than it is? I think you are on the right track that she is on to you! I brought home a new baby last year when my boys were 7 & 9. We never have special times with them without the baby. Sometimes DH will take just the boys out. I was holding/with that baby 24/7 trying to induce lactation (she is adopted). When you are with the baby tell her "when you were a baby I held you all the time, just like I do with this baby". Do things that help her feel like the baby is hers too. Little things like asking her to pick out baby's outfit (it might be horrid, but that is okay!)
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 5:09 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Thanks (maggiemom2000) for your post. I know I am trying way too hard and stressing myself out over it. She is just going to have to get used to the fact that there is a new special person in our lives and she needs to be cared for by me, her dad and even her sometimes.
    kittymom83

    Answer by kittymom83 at 6:36 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

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