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Im new to this lol I closed my question!!??

I was asking about a controlling ex!! Yes they have a 13year old daughter. We live together but on his weekends she tells him we can not spend the night together, therefor he goes to his parents house and keeps her there. the divorce is final and there isnt anything in it that states we are to be apart when he has her. He pays alot of $$ for child support and alimoni. We sleep together everynight and them weekends that we are apart, are very painful to me. I have been dealing with this for almost a year. Is there a law that states we have to be married before she can spend the night in our home??

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Christy2010

Asked by Christy2010 at 9:07 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • No, it's probably a moral thing for her. It's possible she could take him back to court on a morals charge and keep the child away from him. Some people are adamant against living together out of wedlock and don't want their children exposed to it. He could ask a family law attorney. They usually do free consultations.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:13 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • He did and the lawyer said he would do it anyway, considering she has breached by coming to our house with a ball bat!! lol She lays in her house around her daughter with her boyfriend all the time. Its not like the daughter doesnt know we live and sleep 2gether. At the same time Im caught between a rock and a hard place because I wouldnt want to cause him to not see her. But how long do I deal with this. She is a pyschopath 4 real. Shes forever sending him text meassages and went to the extreme of sending nude pics of herself. I know he loves me because he is still here, nothing she has done has worked on getting him back. She also is a so concerned of him taking care ao me when she gets over 3000 amonth!!!lol
    Christy2010

    Answer by Christy2010 at 9:25 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Seriously, there is nothing the court can do about that. They WILL NOT change a court order because he has his girlfriend of one year sleep over. My EX tried to use that against me when we divorced & the judge said to my ex "what she does with her personal relationships is none of your business" The court WOULD NEVER take a child away from their father because of this. They know that having a father around is WAY more important than not, & this to a court is kind of a laughing matter. They see it every single day. You both need to be sleeping over there on the weekends. She can try, try, try to make that not work for you, but there is nothing she can do. If she takes him to court over that, then it would look bad on her for trying to keep DD from her father over something this small. Listen to the lawyer & do it anyway, your BF is a pussy if he lets his ex control him like that. He needs some balls, & he should not be scared!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:34 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • So what do we do get married at the beach this weekend??? lol That wld really make her have a nervous break down. if she remarries or lives with the opposite sex her alimoni stops, Im thinking she jealous because he can live were he pleases, and her $$$ will diappear if she does.
    Christy2010

    Answer by Christy2010 at 9:36 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • "It's possible she could take him back to court on a morals charge and keep the child away from him"

    Trust me, this is not possible. If she tried, the court would view the bio mom as a crazy bitch who has a very stupid reason to keep DD from her father. They would look down on bio mom for this, especially since she also has a boyfriend, trust me...i have been in a very similar situation. There is nothing she can do. She is just scaring both fo you & it's working. Stop her in her tracks!

    If your boyfriend had balls he would forward those naughty pics right to her boyfriend so that he knows what she is doing. She needs to stop allowing her to be this way...because yes...he is allowing her to control him STILL!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:38 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • you don't need to get married to help you here, but go ahead of you want to. I would love for you to shove that down the ex's throat! LOL!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:40 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • HE needs to stop allowing her to be this way...because yes...he is allowing her to control him STILL!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:41 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • My thoughts tooooo!!! Thats what I said!! Its sad because Ive finally found someone I get along with and trust and we have fun together. But she is driving me crazy and causing me to act bitter toward him, and I dont want to because he is great. But like you said he needs to stand up and be a man and show her she doesnt controll him. did i mention she controlled and used, and diprived him from sex for 16years!!!!lol
    Christy2010

    Answer by Christy2010 at 9:51 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Yes, in some states, the court says that you cannot have overnight visits with the opposite sex when you have the children, unless you are married to that person. It is like that in my state. Sorry, but when you get involved with a man that already had a wife and has a child with her, these are the things you get with it. I have to say that your boyfriend is a good father to put his daughter's needs above yours. If you don't like it than you should find a man that hasn't been married and doesn't have children yet. His child comes first, whether his ex is an awful person or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Yes he is a great father but these are not just my needs they are his tooo!! His daughter loves me and thinks her mom is being stupid. lol And unless im going to date a much younger guy its hard to find someone without kids or exes!! Im just asking for advice on this situtation not on a new mate!! just to make it clear!! it seems to me you must of did the same to your ex????
    Christy2010

    Answer by Christy2010 at 10:06 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

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