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I need advice!

I am engaged and my fiancee's daughter hates me for no reason! I have been very good to her and treated her like my own. Her mother also hates me and gives my fiancee a very hard time about seeing his kids. He has a daughter (12) and son (13). The son comes to visit with us everyother weekend and has a great time with my two boys ages (10) & (6). My fiancee's ex has brainwashed the daughter against me and my fiancee. I don't know how to fix it. It is tearing up my fiancee that his own daughter believes the lies of the mother over us. She won't talk with us for two months now or see us. We are very hurt over all of this. Any advice will help! Thanks!

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kazn1966

Asked by kazn1966 at 9:13 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • im sure her mom has a lot to do with it, but it might also be that you are invading her moms territory and would rather have her mom and dad together and thinks you're in the way. I'm almost 40 yo. my dad remarried a couple of years ago, my mom died 7 yrs ago and it really bothers me that he got remarried. I felt like he almost forgot about my mom. dont sweat it, maybe with time she'll come to see that her mom is not as truthful as she thinks she is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I'm sure the daughter feels a loyalty toward mom and if mom is still hurt over the break up then they are probably blaming you. Don't take it personally. It happens a lot in these situations. It's sad that parents drag the kids in and hurt them like this but there isn't much you can do. Maybe dad can talk alone with the daughter and just keep telling her how much he loves her. That's what is important right now. She might feel like dad abandoned her as well as mom and replaced her (and mom) with you. He needs to assure her that's not the case.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:27 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Well first of all the daughter does not like you because the mother don't like you.The reaon why the mother doe'snt like you is because she can't have your man.So she thinks that holding the child back will make him leave you the typical scandoulus women does crap like this.Soon as she finds somebody that she falls in love with or just someone to occupy her mind then the daughter will start coming around more then you will noitce the mother will become kind .You intimidate her also that's another reason why she act like that. And whatever higher God you believe in Pray and that source will give you your answer without you having to even act
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Thanks...I know that the EX wife is worried that the daughter will be close to me because the daughter was getting very close to me & then it stopped. I am sure the mother told her to back off from me that I am not her mother and never will be. The thing is, is that the EX wife threw away my fiancee and wanted the divorce from him and now it seems like she is jealous of his happiness with me and is trying to use the kids to get at him. It is hurting us all.
    kazn1966

    Answer by kazn1966 at 9:30 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • The EX does have someone else to occupy her time. She seems like she don't even want my fiancee to see his kids at all. His daughter won't even talk to him, she is just nasty to him and said some very hurtful things to us on FB one day. She bashes him also on FB for no reason.
    kazn1966

    Answer by kazn1966 at 9:34 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • the only thing you can do is prove the mother wrong with your actions. Actions speak louder than words. Invite the DD to do something REALLY fun, like going to six flags or something you know will be hard for her to deny & show her the world. Spoil her a little bit & show her that you two can be wonderful friends. Mothers are possesive of their offspring. Show the girl that you just want to be friends & not replace her mother.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:51 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • We have done things really fun for her and I have spoiled her, but her mom I guess is just worried I may take her place or something.
    kazn1966

    Answer by kazn1966 at 10:21 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

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