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My daughter is 16 and she has her first job going to the 11th grade. She wants to be able to start hanging out more with her friends and maybe dating. Im very overprotected about this. Im not sure what I should do. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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ERIN2163

Asked by ERIN2163 at 9:37 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • she should be dating at 16. being over protective is never a good thing cause it causes kids to rebel. at that age she's almost an adult and needs to make her own decisions/mistakes in order to grow up
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 9:41 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • She sounds very responsible. Ya know, part of being a mom is allowing your children to grow up & be adults. Part of being a teen is practicing how to be an adult, you should let her start dating IMO.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:46 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • She needs to date! I think group dating is appropriate at 13 and 14, seems like she would be the odd one out not dating!
    JoLee12345

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 9:56 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • As long as she maintains a high GPA and is on a great college track, you need to let go a bit and trust her.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:21 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • You have to trust your daughter. She needs that social interaction. She's not going to learn by being locked up in her room.
    If she keeps her grades up, attends work when she's supposed to them allow her that freedom. You can start out slow if that's better for you. Maybe weekend outings with friends, etc. Just allow her that freedom, because she needs that knowledege for when she's out on her own.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:43 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • No one HAS to date at 16, people who say that are wrong. It's perfectly fine for a 16yo to only do group activities with friends. My sons were not allowed to go on 1 on 1 dates until they were 17 and my 19yo's 17yo gf is sort of allowed....we have to take them to and from everywhere they go (since he still lives at home, if he didn't live here they wouldn't be allowed to date) or her parents do and they are not allowed to go on evening dates unless there's a chaperone. Most times she has to be home by 9p at the latest. My son respects those rules. His gf is an honor student (is actually #1 in her class and she will be a Senior when the new school year starts & is applying to Harvard), works, volunteers to help the elderly & is involved in many extra curricular activities. She has never considered rebelling. Let your daughter do group activities & give her a 10p curfew. That's fair and reasonable for 16.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I read a book called "The 7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You: And How to Talk About Them Anyway", in that book it gives three rules for your teen: "Stay Safe" "Keep in Touch" "Show Respect" I apply these to my 15 and 12 yr old. You do have to trust and social interaction is really important especially at this age. The rules above can you help build your security in letting go...If she is going out, she has a curfew, you require her to tell you who, where, why and when the event is occuring = "Staying Safe". If she leaves or plans change or she wants to be out later she must tell you = "Keeping in Touch". Dating is a little different and I don't allow dating outside of group dates, there is no being alone with any girl. My son respects the rules and follows them, the more he does the more trust we have.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:14 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • My dd was 16 the first time she dated. No she didn't have to, but she wanted to. I had a hard time with it too, but there are rules, I must meet the boy, he must come in to get her, none of this texting "i"m here", I need to know where your going, and when you will be back. Now, some may think that is a bit much, some will have more rules. But for us this works. She doesn't date often, has a lot of friends and most times does things in groups. But any boy that is "interested" in her has to spend some time here and let us get to know him. Her job is a good thing, but now is the time to talk to her about EVERYTHING!! It is very hard to let go of our girls, but we do have to trust that we did the right thing in raising them and that they will do the right thing.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 4:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

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