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My 18 year old daughter was born with spina bifida. She just graduated from high school. She currently suffers from major depression and generalized anxiety disorder. She has a very negative outlook on everything. How can I turn her negative outlook around?

I am so tired of her negative outlook on everything. I have tried to point out the positives over and over. She just wont hear anything positive. Anything that I try to turn into a positive she can find several reasons to keep everything negative.

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Asked by dcctulips at 10:02 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (12)
  • She has been seeing a psychiatrist for many years, she is on antidepressants and antianxiety meds. Now that she is 18 I no longer am allowed any input with the doctors.

    Answer by dcctulips at 10:08 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • She may need a different therapist. This needs to be her decision; she is an adult.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:19 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • She may be a legal adult but she still lives at home and is extremely dependent on me for all her needs. She is physically disabled and very behind socially. I am searching for an answer to help her find a positive outlook.

    Answer by dcctulips at 10:27 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • We volunteer at a church that serves dinner to the homeless once a week. She also takes part in volunteering with various disabled childrens groups. She hides her disabilities as much as possible. We have tried church and it was a bad experience for her, now she is unwilling to try another church. If anyone has a suggestion on a book or website, I would very much appreciate the information.

    Answer by dcctulips at 10:41 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • OP, may I suggest going to the hospital and finding others that are way off worse than her and have found the positive in their negative. If she associates with others with disabilities that have a positive outlook, it might rub off on her.

    Answer by older at 10:57 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Thank you. We have done this before. She had a friend with cancer and even commented on how positive she was despite everything she was going through. Unfortuneately it didn't rub off on her. She has not volunteered at the local children's hospital though. This may be a place for us to start. Any suggestions on how to get into a volunteer program at the local hospital?

    Answer by dcctulips at 11:07 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • op, you have to start by calling their volunteer rep, I am sure there is a place for her to be productive towards others and herself.
    Children specially sick ones always bring out the best in people. Good luck!

    Answer by older at 11:11 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • my sisters has spina bifida and bipolar. i know exactly what you are saying.

    just keep being positive. you can't force someone to change the way they think.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:32 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Are you her legal guardian even at age 18?
    Maybe you need to get power of MEDICAL attorney so that you CAN talk to her doctors and find out what is happening with her care.
    Is she wheel chair bound, how much movement does she have of her arms? My husband's Aunt (mother's sister) had the open spine SB with encephalitis complications. She had limited movement of her arms and was wheelchair bound, but she lived to be 50 and LOVED to paint. She viewed her life a gift from God and lived it fully, BUT she also constantly battled depression.
    Find some college courses that she could take, even online. Does she need a job that will help her find a purpose - even a Wal-Mart greeter would be great because she'd be out in public.
    Volunteering - see if your local library or hospital uses volunteers in their children's areas.
    YOU being positive is the best key! Don't let it on that you are worried. And LOVE her like you do!

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:37 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • There is a black actress who has a daughter with sb. You can find out so many support groups. My aunt had a baby with sb like 50 years ago. Unfortunately she passed so technology has come a long way. GL and I am sure she is beautifuk on the inside as well as on the outside.. Hugss....

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jun. 17, 2010

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