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I have a 13 year old that has a hard time getting involved in activities?

She doesn't like to join anything if there are going to populars in it, she feels out of place. I think if she just gets out there she would make new friends, but it is so hard to tell her because she just doesn't want my advice. Today she started golf lessons which she did want to take about a month age, we get there and she wants to go home and not take them because there were (pops) there. I made her go not sure if the right thing to do but I don't want her just to give up because of that. By the way she is now telling me that I made her join, she never remembers things correctly just the way she wants to to. Is this a typical teen?

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Asked by AliciaW at 10:12 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (8)
  • Pops?

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:17 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Well she is going to have to realize that where ever she goes, chances are there are going to be populars there joining in. She just really needs to find something she is really into. Once she finds it, it wont matter who is in the activity.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • My dd doesn't join activities for different reasons, but I find if it is an activity where she excels, has a lot of interest, or has at least one friend with her she is more inclined to stick with it. If your dd has a close friend with any similar interests see if you can get the two of them to do something together. GL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Yea, typical teen. Very few 13 yr old girls want to play golf, BTW. It's kind of 'lame'. I remember when I was 13 the last thing I wanted to do was go play a sport with a bunch of overly excited people. I would say nix the sports for awhile until she is ready for it. If you guys have a boy and girls club, or community center, etc go get her a phamplet of which classes they offer and let her choose one. At 13, the world sucks and everyone is out to make you miserable... My little sister is 13 right now and really into glass fusing (bead making) its actually a really cool hobby and she can do it whenever she wants. I'm sure this is normal and you have nothing to worry about, you just have to expand your options when it comes to things you'll let her do. GL

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 11:11 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • If you prepaid, don't let her quit OR she should pay you back in full. "Popular" kids are going to be EVERYWHERE. Don't allow your daughter to withdraw and become introverted just because the popular kids are at an activity.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Do not worry many teens on the age of 13 act like how you dauther is acting. I recoment you to be presistan because teeneger always try to meke you feel gilt. All you have to do is ignor her talk, and do not let her stop. You have a very hard year, my son did the same thing to me. Now he is 15 and he is meturing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • My daughter would prefer to have her nose in a book. Did not want to do anything. So we compromised. She had to be involved in at least one activity outside school. But she would take a book with her! So I finally let it go. Not everyone wants or needs to be involved in outside activities.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Unfortunately I don't have daughters so I don't know if its typical of girls, I live in a small town so my boys do everything they can. However I was similar in a way - I did no sports or anything. When I was young I wanted to do cheerleading and dance but my parents would never sign me up for anything when I asked. When highschool came I didn't want to do things because I felt like everyone was better because they had been doing it longer and I didn't want to look stupid.
    I think explaining to her that in life there are always going to be people she doesn't like or want to be around doing things at the same functions or events as her. That's its good to get out there and do something she enjoys and not let anyone else take that away from her. If she still isn't interested I don't think I'd push her but I'd continue to talk to her about what she enjoys, try to encourage her in that direction.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:29 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

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