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how do you answer your spouse when they ask if you would have an encounter with a third person.

not that our relationship is lacking anything believe me, but apparently the curiousity is something discussed. but how do you deal with being asked in the first place. after everything i've been through i am not sure if i am completely comfortable or uncomfortable with it. i am not looking for the "where are your morals" comments or questions, i am just asking advice is all.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • If it were my DH asking to bring in a third person, I woud tell him to go to HELL. But to each their own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I would say HELL NO!
    Brandi300

    Answer by Brandi300 at 10:28 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • yeah,no that's never going to happen in my marriage. I'd be very surprised if my husband asked that in the 1st place anyway!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:29 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I tease my husband and play into his fantasy verbally, but he and I both know it'll never happen.
    I'm not interested in women and I have no desire to add one into our bed.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:31 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I would tell him that while I am up for adventure, this one is not for me. I am a firm believer that once you allow another person in your bed, you never really get them back out either in the mind or the suggestion that 'let's do that again'. One of you will always be more into it than the other an that can cause problems.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:31 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Be honest with him and answer him truthfully, even if the answer is that you need to think about it. I wouldn't be totally comfortable with it, and don't think it's a good thing for a marriage, but to each his/her own.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:32 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I would say no, and I would try very hard (and I have no doubt it would be hard) - to put it behind me, and try to focus on the positive that at least he trusted me enough to be open and honest about his fantasies. It would be hard, and it would take time, and I would try to be honest with him to say that I'm glad he was comfortable enough to talk to me, but I need him to be open to how much his desire to do this hurts me and makes me feel cheapened.

    If he kept asking, or wasn't ok with the fact that I was NOT ok with it, or if he was still wanting to explore being with another person (even if I wasn't involved), then, honestly, I would have to do some serious thinking about if I wanted to stay in the marriage. I feel strongly about monogamy and trust, so to push it would be a deal breaker for sure for me.

    I'm sorry your dh asked you this, it sounds like the question really hurt and bothered you :-(
    gl with things!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:33 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I would say "OK, i have this guy in mind...he's wicked hot & hage a HUGE wang...."

    I would pay to see the look on his face...LOL!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:35 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Well it depends on if you REALLY want to do it or not---I assume he is asking for another woman in the bedroom? If you don't want to you need to say no, and explain your feelings to him,, if that doesn't work, ask him if he has the desire to be with a man,, if the answer is yes,, start there,, somehow I think that may shut him down.. If you want to do it,, I would suggest someone you don't know and use protection,, hope it works out for you!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:36 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I'd treat him like a child that comes to ask if he can have a puppy knowing already he couldn't have a puppy! Sometimes they just have to ask! Tell him no or tell him "someday" or whatever you want to tell him but don't get upset bc he asked. He probably heard his friend ask his wife so your's thought he'd ask as well.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:37 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

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