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should i say something to some one

so my DH is still in contact with his ex and she was a friend of mine she has a son that will be 2 this Nov. the dad ran off twice now, and dosent pay for anything. me and my DH gave her all the things our son wasnt using, we gave her every thing but the baby, and told her that when we are ready to have another child we want it back. well time passed and we want another baby we have paid for a lot of things for her. but over time it started to seem that she doesnt care for the baby will. leaves him in rooms by his self all day spends the money he gets from disability of stupid things. she ran off and sleep with some random guy and got prego again. so when i asked for our stuff back she flipped on me, and i blow it off then she ran off and got a tattoo while shes 3 months prego. i even tried to help her find a place to rent kuse she lives in a hotel, but she said she would pay 50 for the app. but should i turn her in?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Turn her in for what?
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:24 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I dont think you should turn her in but you shouldstop helping her. Just part ways. She is a user and you are enabling her. What you are doing for her is really kind but she needs to learn to care for her own kids.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:25 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • my fer now is that if i am not helping her that things will only get whore for the child there wasnt enough space for all the things Ive seen. leaving him in an infant car set tell he was 1.5 kuse she was spending the money on cigarettes and her self she wont keep a job jumps from guy to guy. is running off all over dragging her son along kuse no one will take him. moving in with guys shes know less than a week. the child is what i worry about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • She sounds like a bad mom but it doesnt sound like she has done anything that would get him taken away.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:36 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Is she leaving marks on his body from bodily injury? Is she not feeding him? I have no idea what kind of disability he has, but having any child full time on your own is hard enough, but to be caring for one that has a disability is even more of an emotional toll. My kids sat in their bouncer, or walker, in a room that was safe for them to be left for a few minutes... there was nothing that could be pulled down on them and they were unable to climb out of the bouncer/walker on their own.
    It sounds to me like you are upset about the way she's spending the money and you're wanting your baby things back out of spite. She's pregnant again, and likely just assumed that she would be using the items again. When I even "loan" baby items or other things, I have to ask myself if it's something worth losing that relationship over... and if it is, I don't lend it, I give it to them. It's not your business how she spends her money.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I don't know if it's still in effect or not, but there was a change in reporting people... if it was found to be a false claim... you would be charged with slander/declamation of character and a few other things.
    People that call when there is no actual neglect or abuse should be ashamed... with so many problems, out there, they're wasting so much time with the spiteful ones that the people who need protection are overlooked because the workers are too overwhelmed.
    Any time you think of calling in someone ask yourself 1) Is there visible marks to prove my claims? 2) Is it possible I could talk to the mother/father/care giver about my concerns first? 3) Is their health or safety at serious risk and can be proven?
    CPS, or whatever you call it in your state... they usually call and give the parent notice they're coming... which is stupid because there's no evidence in some cases. If you see marks... take pics.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • he was born early same as my son. and i dont get money i've spent lots of time with the child and leaving a child in a play pin in a safe room is ok. but leaving him in a room thats not on his own where he can pull a tv down on his head thats sitting half of a tinny shelf and no out let covers a giant floor heater from about 20 or so years ago. and dirty clothes molding milk bottles.... should i go on i didnt say a lot kuse i didnt think every one should hear all that. cigarette butts all of their place. yea i know more about it than i wish to. i dont want to say anything kuse shes my DH friend. as for the disability it kuse shes to lazy and lives off other people. we got in a fight over it all and my DH told her when she makes up with me she can call and we will hang out again. but i dont think it can be fixed tell she cleans up her self and takes better care of her baby. daddy 2 is taking the new baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

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