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How you get used to being an empty nester..............

I thought when my children left for college, they would at least come home for summers.........but no! They visit, but even in law school and grad school I realized they'll never live home again.......and they've never asked for a dime........I suppose most moms would love this.........I just wish they would need something!!!

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Italophile

Asked by Italophile at 11:56 AM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (9)
  • aww how sweety !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • You need to restart your life: go to school, start a career, travel, volunteer, etc.

    I am really jealous!!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:30 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I am just in the beginning stages of being an empty nester, i have one in College and working when she's not in school or with her boyfriend and an 18 year old son who is rarely home anymore. i am already realizing that I need to get busy with a hobby or interest or I will never get out of the recliner. The longer i sit the lazier and more tired I feel...i think it's good to still try to cook a meal as many times a week as possible, mainly so that you can continue to eat right and then you have leftovers for lunches. I have been able to subscribe to the daily paper again, something that I never had time for before.
    timberlake

    Answer by timberlake at 7:23 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I'm originally from California and I encouraged my children to go back East to an Ivy League college...........thinking they'd be back in four years..................then there was the Masters degree and then law school and a PhD program.............so unfortunately I only get to see my son for about a week in the summer and at Christmas..................he usually goes to Europe for the summer for conferences and classes...............................and I HATE it. But I've come to realize that we will never live in the same state again.......

    I was very active in Jr. League for years, sat on community boards...........etc. When I retired (way too early) I moved to a place where I didn't know a soul...............I LOVE where I live................and I date a lot (no one interesting or more than about 3 times)

    I've done my share of volunteer work.............I don't cook at all anymore..............
    Italophile

    Answer by Italophile at 8:22 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • They need to leave and find their own lives before they can "come home" again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • They do need to leave and start their own lives..........and my friends constantly complain that they're helping their kids with money. Mine have never asked for a cent.........I paid for undergrad and grad schools have all been on their own. I am happy they're leading their own lives..........just wish it wasn't so far awa
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I have a great relationship with my daughters although they live away. With the latest comunication methods we can stay in touch. Having said that, it's healthy when adult children are building their own lives. Now that we've nurtured them, it's time to do the same thing for ourselves and others in our lilves. I often think how sad I'd be if my children were dependent on me. The fact that your nest is empty means you did a good job as a parent - you grew adults.
    Mamacat2010

    Answer by Mamacat2010 at 10:08 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • DH and I became "empty nesters" this past Dec. Our boys are 19 & 21. They live 20 mins. away. One is going to college and they both have jobs. It was a little hard at first, but we are glad they don't live that far away. Our youngest, we see about twice a week. Our oldest doesn't call or come by much, but I think that may change some day. He's a little more independent and has always been. It is hard, I know. I've had my feelings hurt several times by not hearing from or seeing my oldest, but I have come to the realization that some children that age take their parents for granted in knowing that they'll be around when they need them. This is just a new chapter in both our lives. Take comfort in knowing you did a good job in raising them and try to keep in touch occasionally, especially if they don't. Friends will come & go, but family will always be there. That's what they need to realize. Best wishes!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 8:06 AM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I almost know how you feel .My oldest two are doing great and I worry am I becoming an obsessive mom with my last two.I have a lot of verbal contact with the older two but miss having them around a lot.Hey I am a sustainer in the League also...I stayed active till I hit the age limit ,loved my placement.Our sustainer club has volunteer and fun activities so you may want to look at them again.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 11:28 AM on Jun. 17, 2010

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