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has anyone left their childs father only to regret it later

we keep having the same fight
I compromise
he wants more, I compromise again
just can not keep it up
thinking of leaving him
I love him, but am not getting love and respect back from him
he is not "bad" or abusive, but I am losing myself in trying to always please him, while getting nothing back is leaving my well dry

guess if I hear enough I left and regret it stories, it may fill my well a bit longer, and i could put up with a man who treats me less than I need and deserve

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • the marriage is not the problem, IMO. the problem is that you are continually giving in thinking that will solve the problem. it's not solving the problem, obviously. in fact, it's making things worse because now you feel like you're losing yourself because you are not acting according to your own wants and needs. you need to stop this. look for other solutions... stand up for yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • After a while you have to start thinking about yourself and after taking it for a long time you have to work on what you want I myself left and came back but it has not changed. I would sit down and figure out what you want and move towards it. He will keep demanding it from you because he feels you will keep giving it to him. I would sit him down and lay out what you want after start to make your own life better and make sure you do it for you. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:44 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • wow sounds like another question that was just asked about compromise. I have never left my childrens' father and never plan on it but remember that many times we forget ourselves what compromise is and think we are doing our share of it when we in reality are not. I do not know your situation persay but just giving you something to think about.
    carmadsmom

    Answer by carmadsmom at 1:51 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I never regretted it. Einstein said the definition of "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting the same results". If he's not listening and not willing to compromise as well then it doesn't sound good. Have you told him what you want him to do in order for you to receive what you need? Communication is vital. Men are not mental heavy weights when it comes to what women need. You have to be specific and maybe give examples and provide charts...ok that was a joke but you get the picture
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:59 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Men are not mental heavy weights when it comes to what women need. You have to be specific and maybe give examples and provide charts..................great advice, funny but true

    you will know in your heart when you have tired everything but are getting no where

    try this...ask yourself if a girlfriend came to you and explained your situation like it was hers, what advice would you give her, if you could honestly say that you would advise her to leave the situation...you have your answer
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:05 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Everyone is different so it is hard to say wheither you'd have regrets just because others do or don't. I do think men need specific instructions of what you need, though. Not only do you have to draw a chart but sometimes you have to review and update it! I also think it is your duty to tell him what you need so at least he has a chance to make you happy. As for compromising, stop! Until he wants to compromise as well stop giving away yourself! Sure marriage is about comproming but it's a 2 way street or else you just have to shut it down for repairs! Teach him that your not a doormat. I've learned over time that for me to stay with my husband, I had to be happy in it. So I am clear about what I need to be happy and I expect it. Then the happy me can give him everything he needs in return.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:05 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

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