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My son just missed his high school graduation.

I am feeling so sad for him but the last year and a half he decided to blow school off too many times. Basically he is a good kid, kind, polite and well liked. i just don't know what happened, he has always struggled in school but somehow always got through. I'm just not sure if there is a medical reason for his failing or if he is just too lazy to do the work. he blames everyone else for his failure and is very good at having me believe it too. He has great aspirations but his follow through sucks. Is this normal for an 18 year old boy?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (12)
  • It happens sometimes because some people just need to learn the hard way. I am no exception to this rule when at 19 years-old I got pregnant and dropped out of college. I'm now getting my bachelor's degree and will be graduating in the spring because a taste of the real world was bitter enough for me to realize that I really needed to get my education. Why not give him a taste of the real world?? Make him get a job and start supporting himself. That will be enough motivation for him to realize the importance of education when he realizes that he can't make more than minimum wage. I'm not saying kick him out, just make him pay rent and be a little more responsible.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 2:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Boys at that age can get really lazy. There are 3 usual suspects: girls, pot, video games.

    Teenage boys are hard to parent. They are smelly, lethargic, incoherent, and disagreeable. But not graduating from high school is beyond regular lazy nonsense. He needs to grow up or he will ruin his future. I would give him the summer to salvage his life and get on a reasonable path. Then tough love-- out he goes.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 2:10 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Sounds like my husband during high school D:

    My dh dropped out two weeks before graduation, he got his GED three months later in August. And then went on to college. His first book is being published in October.

    Maybe missing his graduation will make him see what messing around and not doing what he needs to leads to, pain and feeling bad about yourself. Maybe this will propel him to follow his dreams and to work hard to get where he wants to go. It sure worked for my husband.

    Big hugs Momma!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:10 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • He's lazy and didn't work hard so now he paid the price... Sorry mom but life's not fair and now he'll have to buckle down and work harder. Time for some hard love from you too to help him figure it out and do what you think he's capable of!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Life isn't fair. He blew off school and now has to pay the price. Now it the time for you to stand your ground and require him to do the GED courses and get his GED since school doesn't seem to be his thing. And then either to community college or work. Give him a tough love ultimatum. Our job as parents with non-mentally or physically challenged children is to raise INDEPENDENT children that can MOVE OUT and SUPPORT themselves!!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:06 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I think it was much harder on me then it was on him. I am on vacation for a week but when i return to work all of my coworkers are going to want to know what happened. i still haven't decided how I'm going to answer this question, it's embarassing and i don't want everyone to think he is a loser, I think he has some more growing up to do. Unfortunately, since i was so worried about it for weeks, everyone at work now knows he was on the border line of graduating.
    timberlake

    Answer by timberlake at 7:39 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Just be honest. Say that no, and that he made choices that he now has to live with and that there is always a point in a parents life where they have to let go and let the child fall.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:20 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • Why have you let him get away with acting like this? You are the parent. Where were you when he first started having trouble?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • is called being lazy. i was engaged by 17 and my fiance now my dh told me you better graduate or no wedding!! trust me that was enough for me. yes school is hard but being a lazy bum doenst get you anywhere in live. once i hit highschool my mom stop checking my grades but she would tell me you better be graduating unless you wnat me to whoop your ass. you have some part to blame for his failure
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 9:59 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I was the same way. I ended up getting my ged. So yeah. I was lazy and just bored at school. I did not do drugs! So yeah I missed out on all that hoopla. But you know what I had to learn the hard way. I ended up going to college too! So feel bad a little bit. But your little lamb needs to find his way.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 12:00 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

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