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why are we not bonding?

Did you have trouble bonding with your second child? When my first was born, I fell in love immediately and could never imagine loving anyone like him. I just had a little girl, 3 weeks ago today, and I still do not feel that bond with her. I love her of course, but still feel like i love my son more. Is that awful? Everyone told me I would have enough love for both, but I just can't figure it out yet. I feel like such a bad mom. My husband actually said he bonded quicker with our second than our first, which makes me feel even worse knowing that he already has that bond. Could it just be that I can't give her all my attention all the time like I could with my first? I'm just at a lost and thought I would feel better about it by now.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (3)
  • **HUGS** You're perfectly normal mama. Not everyone feels that immediate bond right away. I think a lot of it has to do with the haze of having a newborn in the house...doesn't matter if it's your first, or happens. Just know that in time, you will feel that bond, and fall right in love with your little girl. Congrats!

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 8:13 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • i just had a baby 3 weeks ago today!!!
    don't worry, the bonding will happen, and your baby will feel your love, i promise!!!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:53 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I didn't bond right away with my first (maybe a bit of ppd) and I'm getting there with my second. There are moments that I LOVE him. And then there are moments I kinda resent him. I feel bad, but I know that eventually I will just fully fall in love with him. I chalk it up to being VERY tired, my attention split in too many directions, and that we live in a space that is way too small for all of us, so the latest addition, though planned, is straining the space even more. Hang in there! It may just be a love that needs to develop a bit!

    Answer by pncsmama at 1:29 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

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