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Am I horrible?

I hate breastfeeding. I love the closeness and I can't stop knowing what I know about formula...but I just don't like the limitations, the feeling chained to him all day, and the stress of trying to type over his head while I work. I work from home and am currently the sole breadwinner while DH watches the kids and tries to find work. I know some will say "even if he worked at McDonalds" but I don't want him to do that because then I'll still be paying over half our bills and then he won't be here to do the household chores and childcare so I'll be even more stressed than I already am. What can I do??? My boobs do not respond well to pumps. I pump forever and a day and get nothing but three drops. We have given him a bottle here and there when I simply cannot go another second or have a deadline, but the constant pressure of feeding him CONSTANTLY and working is getting to me. Ideas? I don't wanna switch, that's last resort!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:50 PM on Jun. 16, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (7)
  • First of all, how old is he? It DOES get better. He will become more efficient at nursing and will begin to nurse for a shorter time and still get more milk! Also, if going through a growth spurt you will be nursing constantly but only for a couple of days. The older they get the less frequently they nurse and it is for a shorter time. It REALLY does get better. Hang in there and soon you won't feel as tied down.

    Answer by micheledo at 8:53 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I don't know how old your little one is, but when mine were 3-4 months I scheduled them for every 4 hours because I was not getting any sleep, my breastmilk was dwindling because of how tired I was, and like you they were on the breast constantly....before that they were on demand.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • He is still very little yet, so I'm afraid of doing a schedule. I like to work at night and do my best thinking then so I can spend time with my toddler also...but for some reason my milk seems to be plentiful during the day and he drinks really quickly and is happy for hours after. (two hours, not all day). Then at like 8 o'clock or so...he just wants to eat and eat and eat and my boobs feel less full and he doesn't seem satisfied. So I let him sit and nurse forever and ever and ever, but he's not getting very much...and then he keeps me up half the night because they never have time to fill up because he wants them so often...and it's been like this for a couple weeks. I'm just getting NOTHING done and I'm getting stressed because we need money at some point! DH helps in any way he can, but his lack of boobs limits him. I'd feel too guilty switching to formula entirely, so I am hoping it does get more doable!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • My most recent baby sounds like yours. I would almost call it colic except it wasn't THAT bad. He got really cranky in the evening unless I let him nurse. Nights were very tiring. Once he was out cold he slept pretty well though. I would say he quieted down by 11 p.m. I learned to just sit down, relax, and nurse him for as long as necessary until he was SOUND asleep and I could finally lay him in the cradle. Sometimes it took hours, but just planning on doing that made it less stressful for me. And it did get MUCH better after a couple of months. Maybe 3 months?!?! Just guessing, I don't remember. He is 6 months now and I had forgotten about that until I read your post. So it DOES get better! :-D

    Answer by micheledo at 9:22 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • That evening cluster feeding is VERY common! Is it possible to do at least some of your work at another time? Where is he sleeping? Can you bring him in bed with you so that he can nurse as he needs to during the night without you having to get up?
    Hang in there, it WILL get better!

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 9:54 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • bottle feeding won't make it better. you'd be feeding round the clock only you would be spending more time bottle preping and feeding with two hands not one. do you use a sling?

    it gets better! all they seem to do at that age is eat.

    Answer by amileegirl at 11:44 PM on Jun. 16, 2010

  • I have to disagree that bottle feeding isn't easier in this respect. My last daughter as a baby was eventually labeled as failure to thrive (even by breastfeeding standards and my UBER breastfeeding nazi midwife, doctor, and LC) so I switched her to formula at around 3 months and started pumping whatever I could get. Bottle feeding was WAY easier than breastfeeding. That's one reason I hate this part of BF...I know how much easier things COULD be. DH could handle more feedings during work hours, he'd sleep longer, etc... I'm doing this for HIM and for his health and well being because I think motherhood isn't always easy and I want what's best for him...but in terms of convenience...I loved bottle feeding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 AM on Jun. 17, 2010

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