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Discipline in front of friends??

I need some advice on if it is appropriate to discipline my child in front of his friend? Or would it lead him to withdraw in any way? Or be embaressed? He is 5. Its the listening to me while his friend is here, that I would love for him to change. I understand the showing off a little but the hearing me and answering me appropriately, is getting me a little upset. Help

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Vmahoney

Asked by Vmahoney at 12:10 PM on Jun. 17, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 7 (163 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'd pull him to the side and talk to him about it and tell him he'll have to leave if it happens again. If it does, pull him aside again, remind him you have to leave and make him tell his friend why.
    I don't think you should do it right in front of the friends. It seems like it would embarrass him.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Well, I usually handle it quietly and to the side where it isn't heard, then, if he continues, I bring it out in front of the friend to embarrass him. He usually doesn't want that, so, he behaves before it gets that far. LOL
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 12:13 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Take him to his room and try to handle it privately. If that doesn't work, send his friend home, aN tell your child why. He is testing your parental authority and that is never to be allowed.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:13 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I would tell him to knock it off and if he doesn't there will be consequences later. But I would not discipline the child while the friends are there. I do the same thing when we are out in public. I tell them we will deal with it at home and we do. (just don't forget)

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • When my kids were about that age / a little older, they tried that. What I did was I sat them down when their friends weren't there, and I told them that I noticed that when their friends were around, they weren't behaving. I told them that I understood that they wanted to show off for their friends, but that it was wrong to act that way. I also told them that I didn't want to embarrass them in front of their friends by getting on them for it, but that from now on, if they were ok enough with what they were doing to do it in front of people, they should be ok with it enough to face the consequences of it, and I would say something / deal with it, even in front of their friends.

    It only took a time or two of me saying something to them - once even saying, I'm sorry, but I'm taking your friends home now, because you can't behave (and I did take them home) before they stopped. After that, when they started pushing it,

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:22 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • After those few times of them pushing it and pushing it in front of their friends and me dealing with it in front of their friends, they stopped. I didn't spank them in front of their friends, but once my ds went to in time out for not listening while his friends could keep playing, , after I gave him a few chances, taking my dd's friends home because she was being very bratty, that sort of thing.

    After those few times, they learned they couldn't get away with it, they started, and when they were pushing too far, I would just give them a "look" and say, do you want to discuss this now? Or, do you really want to continue with this right now? And they would stop - and in fact, this STILL works at our house, and they're 16 and 17.... Which is a good thing, because I have friends who complain about how obnoxious their kids are whenever they have company, because they let them get that habit when they were little.

    gl!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:28 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I never had a problem disciplining my child anywhere. If my kids were acting up infront of friends, I called them on it. IF they got embarassed, well it's their own fault and they knew it.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:34 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Oh, I should add though - you shouldn't be quick on the gas so to speak as far as dealing with it in front of friends - so like, if they were, say, throwing a ball in the house. I would nicely remind them "no throwing balls in the house, why don't you take it outside to play". Then, second time that day, it would be "I told you, no playing ball in the house..." said with a look and a stern, warning tone - one that my kids know means you've pushed it as far as you can. Then, the third time - ok, friend is here, but they see me saying "Ok, I've asked you not to do that. Now, the ball is mine. If you keep not listening, then you're going to have to go to time out."

    That sort of thing. BUT - they knew beforehand that I was not putting up with them not listening in front of friends anymore.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:35 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Exactly how sailor mom said it... nicely worded.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:32 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Talk to your child before his friends come over how you expect him to behave. And that you want him to listen to you when you say something. or else he won't be able to have his friends come over any more. until he learn to obey you and behave right. the first time give him 3 warnings then send the friend home. the second time go down to 2 warnings and then send the kid home, And the 3 time he does this only give him one warning then send him home. And the 4 time just send the friend with out any warning , but explain why to both you son and his friend And next time that happens ground your son from playing with his friend for a week and if it hsappens again keep him away from that type of child.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:35 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

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