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Sad story - opinions please..

I live in a small rural community, and recently a very tragic event occurred. A young boy approximatey 13-14, raped and killed his step-sister and then attempted to set the house on fire in an effort to not get caught. Once the true nature of the event was disclosed the school sent sealed envelopes home for parents to discuss with their children as they saw fit and the HS announced the tragedy. Both these children went to school with my children. I've heard many people say some pretty nasty things about the boy and so have my children. I've tried to explain to my children that while what he did was horrible, that I see blame in the family for not getting him help. The child's mother left him, the father couldn't deal with him and left him with grand parents, and the grandparents shipped him back to the father...while the boys displayed aggressive behavior no one saught to help him. cont....

 
blessedwboysx3

Asked by blessedwboysx3 at 12:40 PM on Jun. 17, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 21 (10,897 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Its ok to explaint the whole story if you want to. Sure he had a troubled past, dont all the murderers and rapists? You arent excusing his behavio, but explaining how he got to where he was at. The media does this every single time some murderer gets pinned for something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I think I would explain that you feel sorry for his circumstances, and that you feel that the people that should have been there for him to help him weren't, and that they need to answer for that. BUT - that regardless of your circumstances, we are ALL responsible for our own actions, and that his circumstances do not excuse what he did, nor does it make it any less horrifying for his victim.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:11 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • i had some issues when i was growing up with my family. i was shipped from moms, to dads, to grandparents, to aunts, back to dads, back to moms, back to grandparents ...etc. - i still would of never killed my brother or sister and tried to set my house on fire. that kid is evil
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:56 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • and you need to teach your kids that there are very bad people in the world, that are bad wether they have good parents or not, they are just bad.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:57 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • While no one can really know what goes on behind closed doors, it seems to me the child was in need of serious help. It may not have done any good (no one could know) but I want my children to understand that things like this start from home, start with parenting...his actions obviously are horrific and unacceptable and he should be punished. He is being tried as an adult for murder.
    I guess I'm just asking if you'd agree with the way I handled this with my children? I expressed there are consequences to actions like this, but to understand why this could have occurred and not just because the kid was crazy, unstable or just evil. (according to friends and other people in town).
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:43 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • That's exactly what I was trying explain Sailorwifenmom - I think you said it more eloquently than I did. ;) Thank you!
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I would add to that - this is why we, as individuals and as a society, need to speak up when we think we see a problem, so we don't feed into tragedies like this.

    Maybe you could share this quote with your kids. When it was originally said, it wasn't used in this context, but I think it could apply here, as well - "Evil flourishes when good men do nothing..." When we see wrongs, we have an obligation to try to fix them. But - again - that does NOT excuse personal responsibility and accountability for our actions.

    Maybe point out that yes, what he did was a heinous crime, and he should pay the price for it. But, his wasn't the only crime committed. The one doesn't cancel the other, but he shouldn't be the only one to pay.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:16 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Thank you :-)

    I am sorry that this whole thing has happened though, and that there was even a situation that needed this question asked!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:17 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I love that quote...thank you so much for posting here. I think my boys understood my point as we talked in depth, but I love the words you've used. :)
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:20 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I know it is horrible all around, it makes sad. I stopped watching the news just for this reason a few years back after the Andrea Yates story - which is probably crazy to some people but I just couldn't sit and watch all the sadness.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:22 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

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