Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

For divorced moms that have opted not to request child support from the father, do you look down on moms that do have an order in place or are fighting for child support?

I mean, what is the deal with some people making comments like, "I don't need child support, I do it all on my own" , like people that do get child support are getting something they don't deserve.
I do respect those that CAN do it on thier own, I really do. But why such a hatefulness towards those that do get it? Do you not think its logical for a custodial parent to recieve financial support from the non custodial parent?
I'm not trying to start an arguement on here, so please lets not turn this into one. I'm genuinly curious as to why some women seem to feel this way.
And these are not just comments I've seen on here, these are comments I've heard women discussing outside of the internet world.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Jun. 17, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • We don't look down on you. We put it that way to make us feel accomplished. We don't get any support, we do it on our own. Doesn't mean you are bad for getting it. Just our way of putting it.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:01 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • for 3 yrs i was set in my was that i was going to do it all on my own. My reasons were #1 Fear that he would get some kind of custody, #2 Fear that he would try to hurt me or my son, #3 thought i would have to pay for some expensive lawyer, I had my family nagging and nagging and when i met my dh he was nagging at me. I finally got the balls to do it. It didnt cost me a dime, i was promised that he would not get any contact with my son unless he went and hired a lawyer (which he hasnt and it would just look bad on him because he hadnt tried to see him in the 3 yrs) and he still don't try...and he doesnt make any threats or anything either. He just pays whenever he feels like it so
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 2:45 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • any mom no matter what her income should get child support. No one looks down on you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I think BradenIsMySon is spot on. I've only ever said it to let someone know how much I have struggled or to feel good about what I have done - never to knock anyone else. I initially asked for child support because my attorney told me I should, but I never received anything. My ex also never visited and basically disappeared, so I had his rights taken away and ditched him completely.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:29 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I made a choice to have a child without giving a damn what the father had to say about it, so I made a choice to support my child without his father, too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I don't know how anyone would look down on you or any woman who was fighting to get support. I've been divorced 11 years and only get child support when the court holds my ex in comtempt. They release the charges after a few months and he stops paying again so I get maybe two payments a year. We did not have these children alone. The concept is for the children to not suffer being in a single income home...that it isn't their fault and both parents are still responsible. I have done it on my own, and now that my kids are older they figured out there were times when they had to do without what they wanted and settle for just what they needed because of it. It is not like you are going to get rich on child support even if you do get it, but no one has the right to look down on you for pursuing it!
    jlynne121971

    Answer by jlynne121971 at 11:51 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN