Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

In love w/ one man, engaged to another....

I have been w/ my fiance for 5 yrs. I love him, we have been through so much, but have never felt "In Love" w/ him. I recenlty found out, the man I have been in love w/ for a 1/3 of my life...12 years, has always been in love w/ me too. We have spent time together and he makes me so very happy. But what do I do? Forsake my childs Father for my true love, or suffer on in the relationship I'm in. I mean, its not so bad, we get along, if only for our sons sake, i know my fiance loves me, I just dont love him the same way...Help!! What do i do...
(and I know there are some of you who will bash...you will be ignored..the hearts wants what the heart wants.)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Jun. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • If your hearts not in a relationship, it won't work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • i'm in the same position. and i chose my fiance. and i regret it every day. go with the man you love!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • your son will benefit more from you being in a happy relationship than being in an unhappy one
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I think you need to follow your heart and be with the one who makes you happy and who you love the most. It is better to end an engagement than marry for the wrong reasons and go thru a divorce later on.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:22 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • i went thru something similar and married the great guy i loved but was not "in love" with, together for almost 6 yrs. he was wonderful in every way and was just my best friend, i kept hoping i would feel the spark but it just never came....after a while the lack of passion was just too much so i ended the relationship. wasted my time and his.... now i am with the man i am in love with and having that passion is so imp, do not know how i went so long w/out it....could not be happier.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Follow you're heart, it will be hard to end the relationship with the fiance, however it isn't fair to him for you to stay when you're heart isn't 100% there. You're child will reap more benefit from your happiness and that of his father's happiness in the end, versus staying in a relationship that may not last forever and potentially you could both be miserable.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:26 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • if you don't follow your heart, it will come and bite you in the butt down the road. It will lead to resentment and all kinds of stuff. Plus, it's unfair to your fiance who could move on in life. If you really don't love him, by all means, do not marry him. Not even for your child.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:32 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • what would you tell a good freind that said this question to you

    THAT is your answer

    it helps to take yourself out of the situation and listen to what you would advice another
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 4:43 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I was not in love with my first husband, but i thought i would try for the sake of our DD. I really thought that maybe i would LEARN to love him. Well...that didn't happen....i just learned to DIS-like him. You should not get married if you are not in love. You will be miserable & forever wondering "what could have been". Don't walk into a loveless marriage, or you will be miserable. Tell him the wedding is off, that you are unsure where your heart wants to go.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:46 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • IMO you doing a great injustice to your df. He deserves to be loved as much as he loves! You should leave him, for his sake. Staying with a man you don't love is no good for your baby either!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:02 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN