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I should visit my mom in hospital?

Well me and my mom, we had a strange relationship because she never loved me! she told me that! but the problem is when i need her the most, when i begg her to help me, she didn't do anything to protect me or she even say something to confort me..
but now she is in the hospital she has cancer, she don't want to have any treatment... i don't know why!
one day she call me and she told me she need to tell me something but when i arrive there, she told me horrible things.. that bad things that happen to me was my fault, that i was being nice to her because she is dying.. she hurt's me alot, when she says things like that! but i still love her because she is my mom... but i don't know if i should go, because i don't to hear her saying bad things to me, i have my enoughs problems in my life...
what should i do?

Answer Question
 
betinha

Asked by betinha at 4:41 PM on Jun. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (356 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • For your own clear conscience, I'd go but I'd tell her you're just there to support her and you don't want to hear any crap talk. The instant she starts telling you something negative, walk out of the room and tell her you were serious about not wanting to hear any bad things from her. There is no point in that at this point or ever. I'm sorry for the situation, you are a good kid.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 4:44 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • ive been in this situation before.. my mother told me she would never choose me over alcohol an ciggs. an she didnt love me enough to do that this was when i was 5... she was in the hospital for 6 months because of her stupidity to not get treated for pneumonia.. i went to visit her an i drove 2 hours once a week an i was one of the only ones who did this... she never remembered i went there an when she got out she was so ungrateful for everything i tried to help her with.. i can say now.. i no longer speak to her an if something happen i just dont care she hurt me to much.

    If you visit her do it because you want to.. dont do it because its "the right thing to do" as some people would say or because shes your mother.. (i hate that excuse =/).. if she has caused problems before why possibly start more? :( she didnt have anything nice to say before so why put yourself through that? you dont need that in your life :) good luck
    akalei

    Answer by akalei at 4:46 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Been there done that, and now I'm done with her! I am an only child and she is a single parent (never met my father and he died last year--I discovered via some internet detective work) Anyway, I already know that if my 65 year old mother were to become terminally ill, that she is on her own! I will not go and play "nurse maid" to her when she was never there for me!

    I know it sounds harsh, but I can't count the number of times she was NOT there for me-from putting me up for adoption when I was born to sendng me to live with family and friends, to leaving me with my grandparents, to blaming me for all of her failures, and when I was in ICU--as a 6 year old and as a 37 year old!

    My grandparents were there for me when I was a child, and for all intents and purposes I considered them my mother and father, and so I was there for them when they were sick and eventually passed away--which is how it's SUPPOSED to be!!!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:02 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • I would go only for my own peace of mind.. If she starts being all negative and putting you down. Say what you must (for closure), tell her you love her (if you want ) then tell her you will not be back. Say your goodbyes and leave it at that.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:08 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • And as for any regrets...I have none. I mourned the death of my relationship with my mother YEARS ago. I am no longer mad, sad, or resentful towards her...I am in fact "numb" when it comes to how I feel about her. I was very good to those who were good and kind to me. I don't owe my mother anything. And I will never let her get inside my head again!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:09 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Just send her a letter! :)
    christyg

    Answer by christyg at 5:31 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

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