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I have a crush on my neighbor

I have found myself crushing pretty hard on my neighbor who happens to be a woman. I'm what you would call bi-curious I suppose. I'm very much into women. Much more than men. Only I've never actually been with a woman. I'm engaged with 2 kids right now. My relationship sucks. I'm not in love with him at all anymore. I can't leave him though. Don't ask me why. I just can't right now. Anyways, the point of this is what the hell am I supposed to do? It's not right to be crushing on someone else while engaged. How can I make this stop?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:24 PM on Jun. 17, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • No its not okay. And the only way to make it stop it to brake up with him. GL Hun!

    Answer by Brandi300 at 10:33 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • you can't force yourself to feel a certain way because we don't control our feelings. you can't marry someone you don't love. you'll end up hurting yourself and your children more. if you can't leave now it's understandable but don't marry him because you will regret it more than anyone could describe. as for your feelings towards your neighbor, the only way to really stop feeling for someone is to cut them from your life, but if she has feelings for you i'd say you're better off trying to start something with her than staying in a loveless relationship

    Answer by aliishott2 at 10:34 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • If you are not in love, you need to break it off. While I do not condone homosexuality, I also do not think you need to be engaged to a man you do not love. If you intend to stay with this man, keep your "curiosity" to yourself.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 10:35 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • OP here....We aren't planning on getting married. We got engaged and have just stayed that way ever since. We know getting married would be stupid. I can't really cut the neighbor out of my life per se. We don't talk or anything. I know her because I'm friends with her brother, but me and her have never spoken. She's also in a relationship. I don't want to start anything with her. Actually I don't know what the hell I want. I just have feelings for her. I guess it's just a physical attraction. She lives right across the street though. I can't stop seeing her outside every day. She talks to DF, they're kinda friends but not really. I don't know what to do. :( Oh and just so ya know, she's a lesbian.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • don't make this a debate. the fact that you don't condone love does not need to come into the picture here. thats just crazy not to condone feeling of love and affection that people cannot change. judge not lest ye be judged

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • i think you do know what you want. you want out of your crappy relationship. understandable. it would be wrong to deliberately try to break up your neighbors relationship if she loves her girlfriend, but like you said you don't know if you want a relationship. like i said these aren't wrong feelings because you don't love your fiance but you can't force yourself to stop feeling for her if thats what your heart feels

    Answer by aliishott2 at 10:47 PM on Jun. 17, 2010

  • Hmm.. honestly whut id do is, talk with ur fiance about it.. if you CANT leave him right now tell him how u feel about ur neighbor.. he may be ok with it! Since shes a lesbian i would def start trying to be I feel the same way u do about women, im attracted to them but ive never acted on it!! Good luck :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:58 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

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