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I just don't know what I can do anymore.

I've posted anonymous questions about my marriage before but I can't figure out what I can do anymore for this relationship. He broke the turn signal off the car, broke my computer (at the mom's using hers til she fixes mine) and today I found out he deleted people out of my phone that he didn't like just to see if I'd notice. I've never once touched his phone to even go through text messages and he says that he wasn't being disrespectful. When I kiss him I feel nothing. I'm just so tired of dealing with this. He's destructive, and doesn't trust me (so constantly going through my phone). I'm just at a loss. What can I do? I did get a job and I'm working towards manager now, but started this week.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would start saving some money and get out of this situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I agree with anon 12:18. That's psychological abuse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I think you know what you need to do. Question is why are you hesitating since you said you don't have feelings for him like you used to. Are you scared? It will only get worse. Could you stay with your Mom or someone else till you could get your own place. If you're scared there are organizations that can help. You have a job that is good since you are making your own money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • well honestly he sounds like a child in need of some anger management classes and counseling. However that doesn't mean you have to deal with it. I'd keep up with work and save up and move out. Put a password on your phone and keep it locked. If he breaks anything else you can also call the police and have him arrested for destruction of property.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:29 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • You need to get out of the situation and don't consider reconciling until he gets some help. Don't wait for it to escalate. He is showing enough anger and rage to warrant you taking action. Protect yourself and your children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • he is controlling you with fear
    this sounds like abuse
    call your local abuse center and talk to a professional
    leaving an abuser id the most dangerous time because the abuser feels like he no longer has control of you so he may increase his control to try to gain it back, PLEASE call an abuse shelter and talk to someone who has been in this feild for years (not a volunteer-although we love them, you need to talk to someone that has many years of experience dealing with men like this)

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:26 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • He's abusive. Start a plan now; financially and future actions. Get your ducks in a row and use your F-U money to get to a lawyer and get away from him.

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:30 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Set a goal. If it's to leave him then do what you are doing (getting the job is a great start). Now create a plan. That will help you focus on your independence and less on his bad behavior. That in itself will reduce your stress level. Figure out where you want to move and budget your money then work toward that goal. He'll see the change in your and either straighten up or not but a man who does what he does then says it's not disrespecting is not thinking objectively.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:00 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

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