So about a month ago I got a random message on FB asking if I was so and so's daughter he wanted to get in contact with my mom, so I asked her if she knew him and so on and she stated she didnt so I left it. The other day I got another message from this guy stating that he had some information for me and wants me to contact him. So yet again I called my mom to ask her about him and right away she was like can you block him I did catch her off guard cause I called her at work, well I decided to write him stating I dont know who he is and what this is about but I am just not going to give some random guy information about me. An hour later I got an message back stating I dont know how to tell you this since it seems you dont already know, but I am your biological father! Seriously did I read this right? Oh and if incase you were wondering I am 28! What do I do? how do I process all this? What do I ask? Anybody else been here?Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 3:48 AM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Adoption
Answer by SaraP1989 at 3:51 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:54 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by Blueliner at 4:11 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by sati769leigh at 4:46 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Before you talk any further with this man, deeply probe your Mom or your Uncles and Aunties. Everybody has a skeleton in their closet and she may be choosing to keep this one buried, for personal reasons. Someone else, in your maternal family, knows about this! You have a right to know who your biological Father is, whether he was irresponsible or not, whether he was a part of your life or not. You do not need be privy to whatever caused the rift. You should tactfully make this clear to everyone that this is about freeing what was done in the dark, dying at the light of exposure. Your biological parents also carry dire medical history that is imperative to your well-being and those of your (future?) children. Pray for Divine Intervention, Guidance and take several deep breaths. The truth sometimes hurt, but lies always hurt worse.
Answer by Ewadun at 5:00 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by shay1130 at 7:15 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by kuriequinn at 9:02 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:53 AM on Jun. 18, 2010
You and the father that raised you have a right to know if this is true. I don't know anyone that "been there" but I do know people who have discovered late in life that they were adopted. They are called "late discovery adoptees" and you'll find information if you google that term.
Your situation is different from theirs though because many of them are searching for their birth parents.
Oh and I did once meet a birth mother that contacted her son, told him she was his birth mother and he didn't even know he was adopted.
Anyway, you need to talk to your mom. You could ask your dad for a paternity test I suppose. And if it's true look for a good therapist.
Answer by onethentwins at 8:07 PM on Jun. 18, 2010