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Should I get involed

Okay my older sister is dating this guy ten year her jr and her kids really dont like him (same for the family). She says it cause there not use to a male figure in there life which I think is part if the problem. Well her oldest is my concern right now. She's 12 I think and was in tears yesterday cause he yelled at her for walking in the room when her mom called her without knocking (they were undressed). Now I know he was somewhat in the right but my niece is a preteen and very moody. She cant stand that boy and will tell anyone that listens. She would hop in the car with the devil if he pulled up to there house. I know we as a family ask her if he is touching her and she is honest an would tell us if he did but I feel my sister should really take there feeeling into account when dating someone that is going to be around her kids. Should I talk to my sister again or just keep taking the kids to my house to keep the peace?

 
Mz.Burger

Asked by Mz.Burger at 5:42 AM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Taking the kids to your house will help w/ that immediate problem but as long as he's around there's going to continue to be problems. Talk to your sister when the kids aren't around & your not angry or irritated w/ each other & then tell her that you are concerned about her. Talk to her about the issues w/ this man & her kids & how having him around is going to continue to affect her kids. Sure part of what's going on could be them adjusting to this guy but you don't like him either! Why doesn't the family like him? There's usually a reason for ppl to react so strongly to someone, tell her why he's bad news & encourage her to find a man that will treat her like the queen she is. If you have serious concerns you're gonna have to address it eventually, may as well get it over w/.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:28 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Your sister is entitled to raise her children any way she deems fit. Naturally her children are gonna be moody when there's a new man on the scene. By all means, take her kids to your house and thus create a win-win scenario for all. You've already told her how you feel about her lifestyle and morals. Now mind your business and work on your own character defects!
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 5:56 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • i think your sister needs to have a talk with her kids and work this out themselves. i don't think you taking the kids to your house is such a bad idea but tell your sister not to ignore the problem or it will just get worse. oh and learn the proper use of there and their.. it makes it easier to read..
    TomsMom

    Answer by TomsMom at 7:49 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Why would your sister call the child while she is in a room naked with a man knowing the child might walk in (she's known the girl all her life and knew she'd walk in when called NOT KNOCK)? I wouldn't have knocked either. Calling her was like giving her permission to come in. THEN lets the man yell at her? That's just wrong. Your sister has her priorities screwed up. Maybe the family can take the kids for the summer to get them away from that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Your sister's first responsiblity should be to her children, not herself.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:49 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • you haven't given any reason why no one likes the guy except for him being younger. based on that, the only thing i can comment on is that i raised my daughter to adulthood as a single parent and had some relationships. she hated every single person i dated - she didn't like sharing me. your niece is at a vulnerable state right now. i don't understand where you come up with this whole commentary about how she would speak up if he is touching her - apparently he's into older women. at 12 my daughter was old enough to want her own and understand my privacy. he probably yelled because he was embarrassed and startled not necessarily being mean. sounds like she is a typical 12 year old girl... let your sister handle these relationships with her children - she needs to figure this out. be a support to her and the kids.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:17 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

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