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What are you planning to teach/taught your kids when it comes to having sex?

My husband and I both agree we will teach our kids to wait until after they are married to have sex.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

Answers (21)
  • I will tell them and have told my oldest to wait to have sex until you are sure you love your partner and he loves you. That whole wait to you get married bit.... just rubs me the wrong way. Something to do with how my mother handle me asking her about sex. Don't get me wrong, I think THEY should wait.... but I can understand if my children where sure of themselves and their partners then I see no harm in being with your special someone in that way.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:16 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I taught my children self respect. I worked at keeping their self esteem high so they wouldn't fall prey to guys who just wanted to use them for sex and then leave them devalued. I taught them to not make sex a casual thing but to wait to share it with someone truly special in a long term relationship. The piece of paper (marriage) didn't mean that much to me after a couple of bad marriages so as long as they were ok with their relationship I was ok with it without marriage. I also told them that sex is good and to have fun with it. My mom taught me to be a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. I passed that wisdom on to my daughters.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I taught mine everything I knew. I explained how he should wait and we talk about it often. I also explained masturbation as an out. And explained all forms of protection and their percentage of protection against STD's and pregnancy. I told my son that it is better and I prefer he wait, but, I went into it with the knowledge that that doesn't always happen whether I like it or preach on it or not.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:17 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I teach her that I would like her to wait until marriage but if she doesn't I want her to be protected so I will offer to take her to the doctor and get her on birth control. She already knows about std's and condoms. I want her to be able to come to me with all her concerns about sex because I would rather be safe than sorry. Now while I will put her on the pill I have no intention of just giving her opportunity for casual sex. I will never allow her to be home alone with a boyfriend or hand her a condom and let her sleep over at his house. But I know that when there is a will there is a way and kids can be sneaky.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 10:18 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • My mom said I couldn't have sex until I got married so I ran out and found a guy, married him just to have sex. It wasn't that great so I got a divorce three months later. I was only 16. That was my teen mentality. So my mom's idea of making me wait didn't work out well. I was the only girl in my high school that was married and divorced before senior year! My mom wouldn't even let me date in my senior year for fear some guy would just want me for sex. Turns out I had nice guy friends and they didn't ask. Funny how when guys respect a girl they don't treat her like a piece of meat.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:20 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • That whole wait until marriage thing is unrealistic. I went to school with a girl who got married on her 18th b-day just so she could have sex. She was divorced before the summer was over.
    I just plan to tell her about all the stuff that can go wrong-pregnancies, std's, all that-and making sure she knows how to protect herself. I want her to be able to come to me and ask for help with bc rather then just trust her bf to get the condom from the gas station bathroom. Been there, done that, those things are weak!
    I just want her to wait for that first time until she's a little older (at least late teens, anything older than 16-17 and I'll consider it lucky) and make sure it's with someone she really cares about who really cares about her.
    If they can go together to get the bc and talk about it like adults w/out blushing or hiding it, then I'll consider her ready.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:24 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I will continue to teach my kids until they are married, but they will learn how to protect them selves if they decide too.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:24 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I will teach them everything that's necessary and everything they want to know. I will tell them the reasons why they should wait and hope that they'll listen. I really don't think that there's much more you can do. As far as the waiting until married that's the only way to avoid kids having serious emotional scars and negative feeling about sex. If both parties don't have the same intentions, and state them openly and honestly someone is going to get hurt. A boy says he'll lover her forever, she thinks they're getting married he thinks summer vacation is forever. They're just not emotional or mentally mature enough to deal with or communicate these kind of expectations. And a piece of paper means a lot, and you have to teach your children that. How are they ever going to respect the institution of marriage and the stability it's suppose to provide if everyone is so nonchalant about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I have a 16yr.old girl and unfortunately I haven't had the "talk" with her yet. I guess in my mind i'm thinking that putting it off will just delay it ever happening. I know that not true. She's not allowed to go out with guys yet. Maybe with a parent around but not alone. The only time she's by herself is when she's at school.(currently on summer vacation) She's a very good, smart girl and I'm hoping that I'm raising her right. I will figure out how to explain the whole sex/love issue to her when I feel comfortable doing so. Have two more kids after her so I guess I better get going...!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Anon :26, my best friend lost her virginity at age 15 in the church basement. She was also not allowed to date, and her parents thought she was always supervised.

    Kids have sex in the school parking lot during lunch. Kids have sex in the school bathroom during class, using their Hall Passes to get some free time alone. It's amazing how many places horny kids can find.

    I suggest you have that talk with her TODAY.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 11:46 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

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