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What should I do?

My husband and I have been fighting a lot, it seems anything I say to him he has a smart ass remark, he is calling bitch and whore several times a day even in front of our daughter, he says shes too young to know what he is saying. I will admit I call him names too, I can't help it, I have suggested counseling so that we can figure out whats going on and why he's always so angry at me. I have found messages on his phone and computer where he is talking to other girls telling them how beautiful they are, and the most I get as far as compliments is how much he wants to fuck me.He will hold his daughter maybe once a day, hardly doing anything for her, then says how he really wants to try for a boy next. medically I am only going to be able to have one more child and he keeps saying it has to be a boy otherwise we will have to have another one, drs said that would hurt me too much, even advised against a second one (cntd)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • hon...why would you want another child with a man who calls you names and is trying to cheat? he is either cheating or trying to. leave him and dont look back.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:07 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • He refuses to go to counseling, like I said and he keeps telling me that if its so bad we need counseling then we are fucked anyways. He keeps finding ways to bring up in conversation that if I ever leave him and he finds out I am with another guy (even years later) he will kill me and him and take our daughter.

    i am not sure what to do, should I try to leave him, try to figure out whats going on? we have been married for two years and this just started recently he's angry about everything but he wont talk to me, just takes it out on me, he gets mad if his daughter crawls and trys to get his attention while hes playing a video game, I am just not sure how to handle this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • he is telling other women that they are beautiful?
    seems to be his attention is elsewhere
    when my ex was cheating he made me the problem, snapping at me, starting fights from nowhere
    when someone is not living up to their committments they will project anger at the other-this some how makes them not at fault-they make up faults in the other

    sorry, sounds like he is doing this
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:09 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • RUN AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!! Seriously, don't you dare have another kid with this man, take your daughter and run.

    -xoxo-

    Answer by -xoxo- at 11:09 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • The hardest thing to do is leave, but it sounds like you need to do just that.

    Would you want a man treating your daughter that way, and eventually your daughter will think that is the way she should be treated.

    Once the damage is done, there is no turning back. I tell my girls all the time don't ever, and I mean ever let a man call you a bitch or anything that is not nice.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Um personally, I wouldn't stay with a man like that. That is abusive and controlling behavior. And if he's not willing to seek counseling, then he's not willing to have a healthy marriage. Also think of your daughter, she will grow up thinking it's ok for a man to treat her like dirt
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:10 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • if he threatened you, keep a record of it and go to the police for an order of protection. aand getting mad at the crawling baby? ok thats over the top and if you cant leave for you, leave to keep her safe. one day she wil thank you. because you showed her a strong example of what a woman can do when she needs to help herself annd her child.good luck honey.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:12 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • He keeps finding ways to bring up in conversation that if I ever leave him and he finds out I am with another guy (even years later) he will kill me and him and take our daughter.................

    this is ABUSE, he is a controlling abusive man
    call your local abuse shelter, talk to them WITHOUT him knowing, if he knows he will see this as losing control over you

    BE CAREFUL

    him saying this is NOT normal

    leaving an abusive man is dangerous because he will be losing control and he will have to up the anti and be even more controlling-which of course means more abuse

    BE CAREFUL!, the profossional can guide you through how to handle, you need to leave this situation, but you need to leave carefully
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 11:12 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • He's seems very unhappy about something. One thing I can tell is that whole kill you and the other man thing is just a scare tactic to keep you with him. He knows he is doing something wrong, in by cheating on you or mistreating you. Either way, that is more then likelyhis intent behind the threats. He wants you scared to leave him, so you WON"T leave him. Guys like him are pussy's IMO, I would call him on is BS if he triesto pull the I'll kill you crap again.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 11:13 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I do not know what to do, I do not work and I would have to move to the other side of the country for family, the car is in his name, and I can not buy a plane ticket without him seeing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Jun. 18, 2010

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