Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

the problem is here to stay unless i decide to leave

i spoke to my husband today and told him we should do counseling he said he wasn't gonna tell his problems to no one. he say's that he has done alot for me and i should be happy. he says that he has never went out on me, doesn't come home late and doesnt bother me. He also doesn;t drink or smoke. but the problem is he ignores me and acts like if i'm not in the same room. he says he is always with me and that he alwas takes me out to eat or something. but i say that when we go out i have to sit in silence do to the lack of interest he shows in me, he always looks bored and i always have to act like a clown to get his attention. he said he wasn't gonna change that if i wasn't happy i should do whatever suits me. and he says he doesn't want a divorce!!! but i think he is begging for one but doesn't have the balls to say it. what do you think?

he doesn't beat me

Answer Question

Asked by vvivianlove at 9:35 PM on Jun. 27, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I am personally going through sort of the same thing. Me and my boyfriend went to counseling a couple of times, when it was my turn to talk, he got silent and had a condesending sort of look on his face. bascially he didnt like what i had to say. you dont deserve to feel lonely (especially when you have a man) you dont have to be beaten on to be beaten down emotionally. he may be happy with the way things are but make him understand your sure the hell not. good luck. if you need to talk more my email is

    Answer by AuntieVetta at 9:49 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • Only you know what you can do to make things better. If he isnt giving you what you need, and doesnt think its a problem its time to head out. You dont deserve to be ignored and made to feel like you are if you dont want to leave him make your own life. Dont be at his beck and call. Or kick him to the curb.

    Answer by Adsherf at 9:50 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • i have never bee nmarried or in your position. but this is how i feel- there is obviously somehting he is not telling you. there is something else inside himself he is dealing with. i think you need to take him to counseling. make him go. if he won't go to save your marriage then he doesn't care about your marriage. just my opinion.

    Answer by sarahmarie85 at 10:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • Not sure what to tell you, but there is nothing worse than feeling alone when someone is right there. I was in a marriage like that. I got out. Glad I did cuz my dh now is the greatest.

    Answer by 2Down1ToGo at 12:37 AM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Wow that is a tough one .If he is not willing to work on your problems in the marriage thats your answer rigth there . I have been to counseling with mine and it helps and it is a shame he does not want to try . Maybe it would be good for you to see one on your own and try to work all this out in your own head .Just to be sure you gave it a shot . That way if you do leave you won't have to feel so bad about it .

    Answer by angeleyesm at 1:18 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

  • Until I met my husband, I lived by the mantra "I'd rather be alone and happy than have a man and be miserable". I know you have a long history, but sweetie, you deserve to be happy! Find some support somewhere (church, women's shelter, family?) and see a counselor without your hubby! Sometimes just being able to validate what you are feeling is the first step to healing the hurt.
    Good luck and I hope things work out for you, whatever you decide.

    Answer by kaseysmommy1003 at 11:57 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Tell him how you feel and ask him what he wants to do and go on from there. It's not about him. It's about you and what you want to do .

    Answer by deliela at 6:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.