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3 Bumps

Thinking of fostering a pregnant teen....?

We're getting our foster license and I have been thinking of possibly fostering a pregnant teen... or maybe more than one. I've learned that "teen homes" often push adoption and religion on the teens and I think that I could provide support for the next 5 years or so for a foster teen who really wants to parent her child... childcare while so goes to school, grandmotherly type guidance on motherhood, a roof over her head and help getting her independent living in a few years, etc. I'm looking for advice and for you ladies to point out any pitfalls or things I may not have thought of. One pitfall is that I am not really of grandmotherly age or appearance (I'm in my mid thirties) and I wonder if my input would be taken seriously. Thanks!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (31)
  • I think that is a wonderful idea. One of my cousins got pregnant at 15 and it seemed like no one wanted her anymore. Her mom told her to have an abortion or get out of her house. So she left and was living on the street while pregnant she ended up being taken in by this wonderful family, and with their help her life was completely turned around they helped her graduate high school and later college and now she is a very successful single mom to a 7 year old little girl. I think what you want to do is great and you could really help some girls out. Although they are some bad eggs out there and some people just can't be helped but I wish you all the luck in the world :)
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 1:27 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I discussed this topic with a friend of mine who said that she would kick out her daughter if she ever has one and she gets pregnant as a teenager. I said I would be there for my daughter and help her parent. I do have a daughter but she's only six years old. I come from a very religious background where pre-marital sex is a big no-no and girls do get kicked out if they get pregnant.
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 11:22 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • i think thats an amazing thing to do. i would love to do that one day.
    my grandmother got pregnant with my mother when she was 17, her mother did not want her to keep my mother so she sent her away to catholic home where they tried to force her to give my mother up for adoption but she refused. so i feel really strongly about things like that and i hate to see babys given up for adoption period, but let alone when there mother really wants to keep them.
    i think that would be so wonderful. my mother is 48 and looks very young, & my stepmother is 40 - they are the grandmothers to my son. dont look like it at all so i dont think your looks will matter. i think you should definatly go for it. there can be negatives to every situation, but i think it would be worth it and really a great thing to do.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:22 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • "If you do it I hope you are prepared to take care of a baby. Because 9 times out of 10 the girl runs away and leaves her baby in the foster home."


    I don't believe that stat for a minute.


     --------------


    I AM a foster/adopt mom, I have taught classes to foster parents at our resource center, I am a CASA, I have been around and seen it all. Many people go into foster care with this fantasy about helping and saving people. This is not reality and you better educate yourself about the system before you end up in over your head. Yes, becoming a foster parent is a wonderful thing, but know what you are getting into.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2010

  • Your intentions (that you've clarified in responses that weren't in your OP) seem well-intentioned. While you can ask for kids that you feel especially equipped to handle, be aware that it's not always what you get. Teens in foster care aren't usually there only because they are pregnant. That would be a rare thing. They may be pregnant with a baby as a result of incest (by an immediate family member) or abuse (by a non-family or non-immediate family member). I have a friend who had 2 such cases (they were 12 & 14). In these cases the teen wasn't desiring a baby when she got pregnant (incest & rape) however, one did want to keep her baby (the 12 y/o). The other teen made false allegations (that were proven false) that not only almost cost them their license, but their jobs & reputations in the community. Some aren't interested in your well-being, but in their survival of they system.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:12 AM on Jun. 23, 2010

  • on the suface this seems like a good idea, but are you prepared to also be raising the father of the child too....they get kicked out alot the times too and if they want to be together...i'm just saying they will find a way....how many babies are you willing to take on with the teen mom?
    michaux

    Answer by michaux at 4:45 PM on Jun. 28, 2010

  • GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! :-)

    I am highly scrutinous of the increasing amounts of "Shepherding Homes," "expectant mother boarding rooms," and the reemerging of "Maternity Homes" (many of which owned by agencies) as yes, I have heard that they serve the purpose of pushing religion and keeping women seperated from family and friends and focused on keeping her adoption plan.

    I think it would be wonderful for someone to be able to be in a healthy environment where they are encouraged to learn parenting and real-life skills without a bias, from a woman they could look up to. What a great idea.

    anon on the first page, would you happen to be able to point me to the study you're referring to? Because none of the research I've done indicates that any such woman, let alone 90%, would do such a thing. It's time we take control of how others view our gender and to STOP repeating stereotypes of young, impoverished women OURSELVES.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 9:17 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • even if its not through foster care, there are plenty of pregnant teens getting kicked out of their parent's home and having no where to go, even in this day and age. A close friend of mine is one of them.
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 9:21 PM on Jun. 29, 2010

  • @ miriamz-I'm not sure of your beliefs, but according to my beliefs, Jesus' mother Mary was an unwed pregnant teen and I wonder if she had lived during our time, if Jesus would have been placed for adoption. It's amazing the things that some do in the name of "religion". Adoption seems to be the "cure" for the "sin" of unplanned pregnancy in the eyes of some of these agencies or homes. Too sad. :(
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:11 AM on Jul. 1, 2010

  • If we had a bigger house and more money I would definatly do that also... good for you !
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 1:18 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

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