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why do people judge and critique so much? i am 22 years old and i had my first child a son 2 weeks ago. and people make it seem as if i am just this extremely young mother. i mean i am young but i am not a teenage mom. it annoys me.

i am 22 years old. i am senior in college. i will graduate in a semester with my B.A. Political Science. and i hope to become a paralegal. i am a high school graduate and i have an A.A. Mass Communications. i have my own car and i pay for my own expenses. i currently leave with my parents until i can start back working and get my own place. i am not married. but people make it seem as if my life is over and its a mess. but i believe i am doing good for myself. i mean having a child does mean making sacrifices but i dont think im too young to have a child. i know where i am going in life. i just hate when people judge and make it seem so bad when their own lives are messy.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jun. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Because sometimes, it's easier to judge than try and listen to someone's story and be understanding. And sometimes, it's even easier to forget about your own life, and point out all the flaws of someone else's, even if they're being a hypocrite.
    I was judged too. I had my son at 21, I was MARRIED and I was still judged.
    Forget them, live your life to the best of your abilities. You'll be a great mom.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 2:48 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I was 21 when I had my first child. I felt like it was way too young, but we were doing fine. We paid for everything ourselves and our son was well taken care of! Others (even friends) made me feel like I'd made the biggest mistake ever! Ugh! Just about made me second guess everything. Well now 9 years later we've passed up all those people. They are still where they were 9 years ago and we are way ahead! It feels good!
    Hang in there and ignore them. You have a plan, stick to it and get rid of the negative people!
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 2:49 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Probably only for the 2 reasons you said -you just had a baby but live at home and aren't married -who care's what people say. You are doing great - just get a good come back and be on your way
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:50 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Well it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders..don't be bothered by people who know nothing about you or your situation, I was pregnant at 16 and got my act together for my child, I experienced alot of what you're going through but I wasn't near where you are in life but I did for myself, got a job, a place and a car by the time baby was born. Keep it up mama and congrats on the baby!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 3:03 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • i totally feel ya... i had my daughter at age 22 (also unmarried) and i know what you mean about people acting like you were a teenager. that was a great age to be a mom for me! i know 22 year olds who i would suggest waiting a few years but then i had a sitter for a while who was supermom at 17 - it really depends on the person. now i'm 41 and pregnant and surprisingly no one has said anything crappy about me being too old - but then again i may have just ignored it because i really don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. one of the biggest problems in this world is people who can't think for themselves and spend all their time watching shows that teach them to judge others and forget to actually think about what they're doing with their lives. good for you! congrats on EVERYTHING! successful women always have haters... enjoy every minute of your success and leave high school to those who want to live there.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:27 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Your baby, your choice.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:06 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Good luck on the paralegal thing. Many places don't even recognize paraglegals and the ones who do don't hire paralegals with no experience. The real paralegal jobs get taken by law students who can't make the grade in law school so that pushes newly graduating paralegals out of the system. The best they can hope for is legal secretary. I found that out after spending all that money on a Paralegal degree. It's just gathering dust now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • congratulations on your baby!!!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:46 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I had my oldest at 19, was unmarried, but had my own place and supported myself. It is not easy, but it can be done. At first it seemed like I was all alone in a sea of older moms with kids my daughters age. But it really isn't so. Don't let what anyone says about you sink in! I have friends having kids now in their late 30's and mine are practically grown...I wouldn't trade them places for anything in the world! Enjoy your baby and know that you are young enough to have the time and desire to roll around and play.
    jlynne121971

    Answer by jlynne121971 at 11:33 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

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