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HOw do you forgive the person ur married to who hurt u buy lying?

forgiveness is so hard but how do u find a common ground that allows u not to constantly hurt over there wrong doings?

 
newmommyjazz

Asked by newmommyjazz at 2:48 PM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,750 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Forgiveness isn't for him. It's for you. It releases a lot of emotional baggage for you when you do it. You can't change him. You can only change how you react to what he does. Some men are compulsive liars and will always be that way. Just choose what's important and double check on those things to make sure he's telling the truth about that. Let the other stuff go.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:12 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I think the most important thing is that you really ARE willing to forgive them, not say that you are, but in the end... do the same thing(s) they did to you, to get back at them.
    The next is to take it slow, one day at a time. Communicate OFTEN. Voice your expectations, guidelines, hopes, fears... etc, and have the other do the same.
    ManicMomma02

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 2:52 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I agree with manicmomma02, the true key is to find out within yourself if you are truly willing to forgive. Forgetting is a little harder though, in my marriage this is something I have struggled with, forgetting and letting myself rebuild trust, but it can be done, you have to be willing to put out the time and effort to rebuild the bridge.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 2:57 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Talk things out with him and let him know how you feel about what happened. Explain yourself, don't yell or scream just explain yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Talk it over, get the feelings out in the air, and then take it one step at a time. Obviously they will have to work hard to earn your trust again, but you must make the effort to continue on. We as humans are going to mess up now and then. We have to make a choice every day to love people and forgive them. Doesnt mean being a door mat.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 3:05 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I would by a heavy bag and start hitting it and make that pain work for you while you do that keep asking questions and ask the questions you want answers to like why and how is this person not going to keep doing this. I would also find something for yourself get a hobby do boxing mui tai, aikido, Jujitsu anything that makes you centered and balanced. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:20 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

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