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ADHD and shoplifting

My daughter is 8 years old and has ADHD. I was told this could make you imposive. A few monthes ago she bought home with twister crayons. She said a friend gave it to her. I asked her teacher about it and she said there was a set of twister crayons missing. I asked my daughter about it and she said a friend had found them in a cubby and said they were hers and told my daughter could have it. I made her give them back and gave her the benfit of the dought. I come home from walmart and seen she had gum in her pocket. She potested she didnt do it. I made her go back to walmart with me to take it back. After a while she finally amited to doing it. I asked her why she said she really wanted it.This isnt the first time she has done this. When she was 5 she had a spell where she done this. I though it was because of all the changes mom was getting married, new school, dad moved. I just dont know what to do.

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nurdreams

Asked by nurdreams at 5:33 PM on Jun. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 5 (92 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • OH Gosh, i remember my sister doing that when she was a kid...she only got worse..i'm not gonna even go into what shes doing now =(
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:40 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • ADHD makes children impulsive not shoplifters!! My 8 1/2 year old has high functioning autism, and he has NEVER even tried to take anything from a store without asking me to buy it for him! You need to nip this behavior in the bud--before it blossoms into something worse!! Stores are NOT going to care WHY your daughter stole something if she gets caught--either she or you will be punished and/or pay a fine MUCH more than the item she stole was worth!!

    Not only would I make her return the items to the store, but I would have her apologize to the store manager--or maybe even scare her a bit by having her apologize to the security guard (if their is one!). She would then be grounded and lose some privileges at home to reinforce the message.

    If done right, you should only need to repeat this one or two more times!! LOL :o)
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:58 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • ADHD is not an excuse for shoplifting. She should still know right from wrong. That's YOUR job to teach her.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 6:42 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Being a lier and a thief are not ADHD symptoms.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 7:38 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • You have no right to say I am not doing my job. I do teach my child from right from wronge. I not applying that If you have ADHD you are a shoplifter. I am just saying it can make you impalsive and do things on the spere of the moment like taking that gum that I want so bad. I am asking for advice not be told that I am bad mom.
    nurdreams

    Answer by nurdreams at 7:57 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Shoplifting is actually quite common in both ADHD and autistic kids. Just because this handful of people haven't dealt with it, or are just not aware of it in the kids they know, does not mean this is not true. But it doesn't make it right, either. You just need to work with her more to find and better understand reasons that make it meaningful for her to stop. As it was said by Lorikeet, very few places will care WHY, just that she did it. Find ways to make it personal to her and then show the parallel to her behavior, if the basic reasons don't resonate with her at all. 

    roachiesmom

    Answer by roachiesmom at 8:08 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I am asking for advice not be told that I am bad mom

    Where did I say you were a bad mom? I said nothing of the sort. It just sounds like to me you are making excuses for her stealing and there aren't any. At 8 years old she should know that if you want something, you don't just take it.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 8:10 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Okay...advice is that kids shoplift and steal and lie because they think they CAN. It has nothing to do with ADHD or any other disorder. It has to do with right and wrong. It might be hard to hear the truth , but the replies so far have been honest and you need to pay attention.You need to have a serious talk about right and wrong....you need to tell her that even of nobody found out that she took something,it SHOULD bother her and it should be a matter of conscience! It is a matter of feeling guilty and being sorry for doing something wrong and sorry for being dishonest....it s important.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 8:11 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • I have ADHD, and I used to do things like that when I was younger. However, I also did it a few times when I was older (college age) and got caught! It was a horrible experience, but at least I had finally learned my lesson. ADHD people can be very impulsive, but we have the ability to know right from wrong... if we are taught (just like everyone else). My mom's mistake was that I don't think she really understood why I was stealing and she didn't sit me down and talk to me about what I was doing and why. There may be something else going on with your dd. Maybe you could sit her down and ask her what's going on. Or if she has a therapist (and I'm a firm believer in therapy for ADHD kids and adults), then maybe bring that subject up to the therapist and see what that person can find out.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 8:13 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • my son has ADHD and I have NEVER had this happen, but it is that age. i wouldnt worry much about it, just make her return them with a sorry note.
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 8:56 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

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