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conflicted confused... :(

So dh and I split up in december and are in divorce proceedings. Anyways, I am NO WHERE near ready for any kind of serious relationship or commitment..but I do want someone to go out with/get laid. I recently met a really nice guy whom I have alot of things in common with...but he's definatly not "daddy" material, i.e someone I would not be interested in having a relationship with. I want to be friends with him and have sex on the side.,..ALL of my friends are just telling me this won't work and it's going to get messy ect. Have you ever tried to do this? friends with benefits or whatever... I think as long as were both on the same page I don't see why we can't just be adults about it and keep it fun

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Jun. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • goodThey DO work. You have accepted it for what it is so that's setting the boundaries. It's all good. Just enjoy him while you get your self together. It's never easy after a divorce. Glad you found someone who can get you through the horny stages!

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:19 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • Got to agree... most guys would jump at the chance.
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 11:20 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • i have never seen a sexual relationship that never got complicated like say one night you want to get laid but he is already busy banging someone else. oh that would make me feel jealous regardless if i had feelings for him or not. not to mention how complicated it would be if you got an std or worse pregnant. as birth control is not 100%. also how could just let a guy use you even if your using him at the same time. you know yourself better then anyone else so just be completely honest with yourself. hope it all works out.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:30 PM on Jun. 18, 2010

  • usually one of the people always gets more attached. you might think you wont, but then you might end up liking him more then you thought you would, or he might end up really likeing you and then youll have to break his heart.
    whatever you do, make sure you use protection!! STD's are running rampid nowadays!!
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:09 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • I think it's a bad idea. Even with all the protections available, you can still get pregnant, or get a disease. Then what? Not worth it.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 12:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • "really nice guy whom I have alot of things in common with" that could turn into love/attachment really quick and then you would be attached to someone who you don't want in your child's life. One night stand? Go for it (with double methods of protection)! Longish friendship/sex buddy- it could work, but there are pitfalls and I just personally wouldn't want that rollercoaster in my life after a divorce. I would say, let him be either- a sex partner or a friend to go out with, but not both. If he's a sex partner, don't call for anything other than sex. If he's a friend, let him know romance is off limits. When you want a relationship is when you choose to be with someone sexually and emotionally. Just IMO.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:46 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • men love an easy screw, just make sure he takes a shower first
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • also, too, just so you know he will tell everyone else about you and how youare easy but oh well
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • I wouldnt do it. Aids and Hiv affect everyone and careless sex just raises your chances of contracting something. No offense or disrespect but let yourself heal from old wounds (the divorce/marriage) buy a vibrator which is std free and will help with your natural womanly cravings, and join a new social group like yoga or if moneys tight try taking your kids out to a matinee movie they are cheaper before six and the movie can distract you and help you focus on still being a mommy.
    Best of luck to you
    Carly
    CarlysCorner

    Answer by CarlysCorner at 7:13 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Get yourself a Rabbit vibrator and wait for a guy that IS daddy material!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:14 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

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