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please help

my husband of almost 6yrs went to the bar tonight, and i told him he could drink tommorow b/c our son was going to grandmas! And i wanted to take our son to see toy story tonight but instead he was at the bar! I was mad b/c he always goes out drinking he drank fri, saturday, wendsday and tonight. friday and saturday he didnt drink much. but wendsday he did, he didnt drink much tonight either its just the fact everytime i want to go out and do something as a family! Husband is in the bar, I swear things would be perfect if beer wasnt involved, i think he loves beer more than his family

i asked him what was more important beer or us he says us! well then how come you run off when we could do something as a family, he said that me and our son could of came into the bar and spent time with him, his mom our sons grandma is the bartender.. i dont want my son raised in a bar, He thinks everytime i talk about it im bitching

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Jun. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • and he smiles about it and doesnt see anything wrong with how he is. i truely feel like beer is his life and i told him that and that everyone else believes the same thing! and he said he doesnt care what everyone thinks and he will think what he wants to think

    his parents drank everyday, and he was hurt growing up not getting to spent time with him.. i understand y he drank wendsday it was a yr since his dad passed but its been almost every weekend since our son was born and hes 2
    what should i do

    op here
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • you need to put your foot down, tell him either he spends time with you and stops going to the bar all the time or you want a divorce. hes only going to treat you the way you let him treat you!! GL
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:14 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • and if you dont want the same for your son then you need to MAKE him change or leave his ass and find someone better who can be a real father figure to your son!!
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:15 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like he has a drinking problem. Sounds like you need an Al-Anon meeting. There you will find out about alcholism and what you need to do to cope with this blue elephant that everyone steps over in the livingroom. Google a search for Al-anon in your county, so sorry you are going through this, but Al-anon helped me so much when I was dealing with a bf and his addiction to alchohol,,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • what is a al-anon meeting? isnt it for the person who drinks
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Find Al-anon meetings and get support there to deal with him and change the cycle you are in. Hopefully eventually you can get him to AA. Alcoholism runs in families and it's definitely in his. If you want the cycle to repeat with your son, do nothing. If you want to get information and support, seek help.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:36 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Bellarose0212

    Thats why im asking this tonight i dont want my son to grow up and drink hes a wonderful little boy and my world.. i just really want some advice i love my husband to death but if its going to hurt our son then i dont want to be with him but its hard i have no where to go no money nothing,
    whats a al-anon meeting??

    op here
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Why not let him hang with his mom if he is hell bent on not being weaned from her and you and your son can go to the movie and enjoy time together too? That's just sad that a grown man has to sit with momma and drink leaving his family alone
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:37 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Im a sahm i dont have any money, and he is either drinking at the bar or a different bar or at home it doesnt matter. when dh got arrest b/c he was drunk and cussed out a cop and his mom bailed him out after i begged her not too..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • to answer your question, al-anon is for friends and family members of alcoholics...not people who are drinkers. AA is for the alcoholics themselves. At Al-anon, you can find lots of support from people who have been affected by alcoholics in their lives. Both groups are free, and you can google local meetings.

    Sounds like DH's mom is enabling him (by bailing him out) so she will be no help to you in this. Until HE realizes he has a problem, and until he is willing to do something about it, this will continue.

    You sound like a loving wife, but also a great mother, because you are thinking of how all this will affect your son. Good for you!! Just remember, you can not MAKE your husband do anything he doesn't want to.
    inkydorei

    Answer by inkydorei at 1:30 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

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