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How would you feel if your mother asked you this?

I'm due in 10 days. My mother asked me if I would write out that I wanted her to go to court to fight for my kids if something was to happen to me during delivery. I thought she meant my two from my first marriage, since my ex is a horrible drug addicted person that hasn't even seen them for 3 years. But when i said "well, yeah **" and stated their names. She replied well *** too (me and my husbands 2 yr old). And I flat out said No, I won't do that. Hes going to have custody of her and you can keep her if he needed help. And she replied that SHE wanted custody and he could keep her when he wanted her.. This made me mad. Plus to think, she didn't even mention the baby I'm about to have, what.. she wants my husband to keep her, but not his other kid? Sometimes.. I just don't get this woman. besides, its not even at all legal!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Jun. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Yes, i almost didn't make it after my last two deliveries for different reasons on both.. And this has been a problem pregnancy as well. Plus I mentioned to her that I just feel off.. like something bad might happen and that i've been really scared. I don't want my husband to have all four, he can't handle that. But theres no way I'm going to say she can fight him for his kids. And the only thing we could do is have him adopt the two children even if we wanted that.. but we can't afford that right now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • wow my mom never thought of anything like that! i would simply tell her no and that my husband would be making the decisions about my children

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:22 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Do what you feel is right, wether she likes it or not. Give a copy to someone that you know and trust, that wouldn't even be involved in the custody besides a voice for you and a testimony that you wanted it, how you wrote it
    And, if you don't want to write a note out at all, don't do it! lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Just ignore her. Set up your will (and your husbands) and tell her that its taken care of. Of course, if you do want her to take even one child should it come up, you will need to talk to her about it first. But ultimately it is up to you. She shouldnt ask to take your husbands children away from him. Thats flat out wrong.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 10:26 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • I would tell her the father will have them and you will be allowed visitation. Wow now I have heard everything.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:28 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • I would want her to take my oldest two, since my husband has no legal rights to them and my ex would get them. They would NOT be safe is their biological fathers custody. But my other daughter? My husband is a good dad.. he's just kinda lazy, doesn't mean he wouldn't step up more if something happened to me. And our second daughter.. what about her? Its like she doesn't even exist apparently.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • You could legally set it up so your husband gets all 4 children. You would just need to contact a lawyer, etc. Did you have issues during delivery of your other 3 children? Has this been a problem pregnancy? I find it extremely odd that your Mother is thinking of the "worst' when it comes to this delivery.

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 10:43 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • You know, it's funny, this is one of the main reasons my DH and I got married. Because we didn't want my mother to have any power over me or my children in the case something would happen...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:44 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • She probably didnt think about the baby cuz it wasnt born yet technically.

    However, she was wrong and foolish. If my mother stated that Id tell her I loved her but she's high and insane and it would never happen.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 11:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Wow! That's pretty crazy. I've even discussed with my mom that if both my husband and I die, who gets our daughter and it's his sister. My mom was totally fine with that.

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2010