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Should I forgive my mother.

My mom sent an email to my mother in law (who sent it to me) and I decided pretty much from that point on that she's dead to me. Now (three months later only because my son's birthday is in a few days) she wants to move forward but hasn't mentioned her statements or apologized. Should I let it go even though I think she will never accept my marriage? Here are the statements she made.

"I told my daughter that I was DONE with her and I meant it."
"...one day she will wake up from this nightmare "
"I’m sure you would be infuriated if your child converted to another religion"
"you and your husband were big influences in converting my child to your religion"

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Jun. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • fussing and fighting over religion is soooo not worth it. Yes, you should forgive her.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 9:48 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • You should not unless she apologize and seems to accept things.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:49 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • I would let you know you read the email and see what she has to say. If she apologizes, then the two of you can move forward--if not, then let her know how much it hurt you and that until you can come to a common place, it may be best not to see each other. She should be allowed to see your kids-but only if she knows the rules up front (be nice, don't say anything bad in front of the kids etc) and you may need to supervise to ensure this happens.
    It's tough b/c it's your mom...and religion is a big factor in some people's lives....if there is a way for you two to move on and still be a family-I would at least try....good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • when she says she is DONE does that mean with her relationship with you? if so i would not try to reconsiliate until she said she is sorry and you talk things out. i would try to make her understand that you converted of your own free will, not because they made you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • I would let HER know...not, YOU know.....sorry, I'm tired :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Tell her you still need to talk about what she said, but you want her to be a part of your sons life and birthday. No reason to bring your son into your problems with your mother. I hate when people use their kids...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • um... you can forgive and not put yourself in that situation again... forgiving doesn't mean walking right back into a relationship that isn't good...

    BUT, just because YOU don't want to walk into that situation doesn't me you shouldn't allow your child the chance to get to know the grandmother... if you are certain that she will not be an influence on your son, and you can trust her to keep her mouth shut in front of your son when it comes to her opinions of your marriage... definitely allow them to build a relationship.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 9:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • The thing is, will she ever try another stunt like this one? That would be the deal maker or breaker for me. Is she done with this nonsense or will it keep continuing. I would be pretty pissed off myself. I mean you can forgive her, but if she doesnt appologize and understand her actions, how can you trust her again? Sounds like stuff needs to be cleared up, but only if she is ready to talk and listen to you. Good luck hon
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • honestly I wouldn't want my kids around her if it was me. She had the balls to sent the message to your MIL, what makes you think she won't bad talk you and your husbands family behind your back to ya'lls kid/kids? I agree with a pp, forgive and move on from this.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 10:05 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Forgive her for what? Having an opinion? Just ignore her and let her live her life and you live yours. If she is done with you then she doen't care if you forgive her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

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