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What do you do when....

You're ready to have "the talk" but he isn't? We've been together for nine months.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Jun. 19, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I just read your reply- and the way I see it is this-- you have 2 choices - #1 you can keep it as it is and hope that someday he may be ready to move forward in the relationship---- but after being with him for 9 months and you have not gotten past the texting to calling stage and don't see each other very often - it makes me wonder if he would ever be ready to move forward. OR choice #2- you can end it with him and find someone who will want to have a deep and meaningful relationship with you.
    If it were me and my guy, I would ask him point blank "where do you see this relationship going?" and let him know that I am looking for something serious, and if he is not willing to commit then I would cut him loose and find someone who would be available to me and looking for a meaningful relationship.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 12:22 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • what talk? Or do I sound just like him right now..lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • What talk? Moving in, marriage, baby?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:37 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • what talk? getting married? a baby? breaking up? more specifics!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • OP HERE: lol, sorry. I meant the "moving forward in the relationship talk". We haven't even gotten past texting into I can call if I want to. He's practically impossible for me to talk to. I talk and it seems like he doesn't even here. We don't see each other often because we live very far apart. So I have no clue where we are going but I would like to figure it out and he just seems to be getting more and more distant. I'd say he was ready to break it off except that when I asked him that question he said "no, I love you." I'm totally lost here.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • Not sure what talk you are talking about. There are lots of talks my husband and I have. You have to let us in a little more info.
    vickwu

    Answer by vickwu at 11:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • It's time for that talk. My SO lived in Los Angeles and I live in Connecticut - we had the entire US between us but we made it work. We've been together for 10 months and he just moved in a couple weeks ago. 9 months is definetely long enough to know where you want the relationship to go and honestly I don't have your patience, call him and talk to him about your future together asap. GL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2010

  • yeah nine months and you two are playing like you just met? in nine months you can grow a baby... it's normal for things to have progressed during this time lol. stop beating around the bush and playing guessing games. don't base your decisions solely on what he says but on whether or not the relationship is meeting your needs and expectations - it doesn't sound like it's anywhere near that. you need to take the reins and be clear about what you want and what is acceptable. and for goodness sake if he can't meet you somewhere in the middle, move on and quit wasting your time if you are looking for more.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:26 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • You talk and it's like he isn't listening and you have no idea where you're heading?? Sweetie, you are headed down a long LONELY road with this one. Sounds as if you aren't 'together' but just hanging out..if you can consider texting to be that kind of a relationship.

    He sounds like he's just stringing you along--keeping a backup in case the prize gets away. If you want more from the relationship, SAY SO! Tell him how you feel. He'll either accept or not and at least then you will know where he stands. You may not like it, but at least you won't have to wonder anymore. If he can't give you what you are looking for, move on and find someone who will.

    Good luck
    SimplyLaine

    Answer by SimplyLaine at 5:01 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Thank you to everyone that answered. I appreciate it, I'd close this question but I don't know who's answer to chose. lol. Thanks for making me not feel like a total weirdo for wanting more from him. =)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Jun. 20, 2010