Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Did I do the right thing?

So last night I feel asleep on the couch watching tv. I woke up a little after midnight and thought I'd go on to bed. When doing so I have to go through the dining room where our computer is and dh was sitting on the computer watching porn. I said turn off the porn and he quickly and tried to hide it from me like he couldnt believe he got caught and preceded to go on about what I needed to do to go to bed. I laid down and he came in our bedroom and said arent you going to give me a kiss goodnight I said I don't know. He asked why and I said i am upset, looking at that crap is like cheating on me.

So I am wondering was ok for me to get upset over it? Do you feel like porn (if he is watching it only) is like cheating?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Jun. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Every person is comfortable with different things. If it bothered you, you do have the right to be upset. Talk with your husband about how it made you feel.
    christaberk

    Answer by christaberk at 9:11 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I agree
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:14 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • it makes me feel like im not good enough sexy enough pretty exc. but i dont feel like its cheating
    sam123333

    Answer by sam123333 at 9:16 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I personally don't mind my husband looking at porn but I'd get upset if he tried to hide it or lied about it.
    No one can tell you how to feel. If porn bothers you and makes you feel the way you do, then he needs to know, just tell him calmly and don't actually accuse him of cheating, just tell him it's like cheating. Because it may be like cheating but he wasn't really in bed with another woman.
    If you've never talked about it before and last night was the first time it came up, I'd apologize for the cold shoulder last night but not the feelings. If you have, tell him you had every right to be upset and remind him of previous talks. Just make sure you do it when you are both calm and don't yell, name call, or anything like that.
    Good luck.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 9:17 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I'd talk to him about it and let him know how it made you feel. Then take it from there.....
    Safirejewl

    Answer by Safirejewl at 9:21 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • let him know in a calm, "non prn"moment that for you its crossing a line. because like myself, no it doesnt bug me, but it obviously does you and thats what counts , right? let him know how you feel, and try to compromise if you can...I think men are visual creatures so thatas the attraction. Not that they want those women, or anyone but YOU, they just like to "peek". good uck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 9:23 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Yes, I feel that watching porn is just as bad as cheating. My husband and I have had this talk because he's tried to look at it at times when we've had a couple rough spots in our relationship and he's not happy with me.
    I won't put up with it....it hurts my feelings SO MUCH that I told him the next time he did anything like it, I was out of here...
    Not only does it hurt my feelings, but it makes me feel like less of a woman. I can't feel secure in a relationship.
    Porn can become an addiction too. It's not a good thing, all around.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • If he has the need to go on the computer to watch "PORN" that means he is not completely satisfied with you in bed, or maybe you need to change you sex routine I change my all the time and I have two kids. Man in general don't like to be bored with the same shit all the time, so follow the check list:


    1- Take care of your self be fit and sexy.


    2-give him good sex but with something playfull or new all the time.


    3-Have a date with your husband once a month

    FULLTIMEMOM...

    Answer by FULLTIMEMOM... at 10:47 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Yes you have the right to be upset. I agree with you. I feel like watching porn is tantamount to cheating. The ONLY time I give a guy a break in that area is if A) his wife/so withholds sex for whatever reason on a regular basis or B) he's gone for long periods of time.
    My husband and I have had this fight more than once. He knows I'm always available. We've been married almost 6 years and I've told him no probably less than 5 times....all with good reason. You need to sit down and talk to your hubby and nicely explain how you feel and WHY you feel that way.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:53 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • same thing happened to me last night. hubby went out and i fell asleep on the couch when he came home he said lets go to bed and he'll get the a535 to rub my back. 10 min later i go downstairs and hes watching porn. the porn doesnt bother me so much, but like others said doesnt make me feel great, what bugs me more is that he sent me to bed so that he could watch without me. he doesnt understand why im upset. its his first fathers day today and im supposed to be nice to him. ya right
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN