Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

why do some people think that parents who work...

don't invest time into their children? No debate, I just don't understand. I do the same for my kids working that any SAHM does... I help with home work, I help with baths, I play games, fix a healthy dinner, laugh, tickle, tuck them in, listen when they have a bad day, take care of all hurts and illness, make sure lunches are packed and in their bag, set up play dates, make sure their clothes are washed and in good repair... I work, yes but the second I get home it is all abut my kids. Every day off is all about my kids. I just have a hard time believing a SAHM does more than me. They may be in the home more but aren't they doing other things to? Do they truly get more 'play' time in than I do? My going to work and my kids staying at a sitter is it really different than sending them to school, day camp, friends houses or Bible school? I just don't understand why anyone would believe that I don't spend enough time...


Asked by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Jun. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • ::shrugs:: I like my job. I love being a mom but I also love my job. I know I am lucky to work for a small business and have off whenever I want and only work part time but I would never give it up. I enjoy working. It makes me feel good. I love what I do and I would miss it if I gave it up completely. I am a mother first but my job is part of who I am as well. Now I did go to part time when my kids were born so I could be with them more. I love their sitter. I spend ever min I am at home with them. I have never felt like I missed anything. EVERY mom working or not does their BEST for their kids. Work has nothing to do with the amount of love and care. NOTHING. Neither way is better or worse, just DIFFERENT.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:25 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Not everyone feels that way. I've been both a working mom and a SAHM. I know both sides of it.
    Maybe the ones who say something about it are just trying to make you feel bad so they can feel better about their choices?

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 10:15 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • If your kids are in school yes, you are right you do the same but if they are still too young to be in school, you are missing out.

    Answer by older at 10:15 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • i think honestly its just one more thing that gives people something to argue about. to be honest i find nothing wrong with people who stay at home or go to work. im a working mom as well however have to stay home because im on bedrest right now. i dont know how people survive off of on persons income unless they are super rich. but as much as i love my kids i think its healthy to have a break such as work every now and then. and if kids are in school anyway there is no reason not to work. you can get a job during school hours. i dont see why its an issue. i personally cant stay at home with kids at school cuz i have nothing to do. my house is alays clean cuz i have OCD and kids are always taken care of.

    Answer by sam123333 at 10:18 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • OP: My DD is 3 and stays with a friend and I feel like I am not missing anything... she is my baby and I am there for her the whole time she is home. I saw her first steps, I heard her first words, she was breast fed for 10 month, when she was diagnosed as FTT I took off of work to be with her until she I was comfortable leaving her with others. They spend a lot of time with grandparents and cousins something I never had! I consider my kids lucky to be so close with both sides of the family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • SAHMs are with their kids for 8+ hours more per day than moms who put their kids in daycare. Once the kids are school age they still generally spend more time with their kids because most kids with WOHMs are in extended care of some sort or they're latch key kids when they get older. The time that the SAHMs spend with their school age kids is more focused on the kids, no need to try and do all the housework and such in the evening because that was done during the day while the kids were at school.

    There's no debate here. If you're at work for 8 hours out of the 16 you're awake (for sake of argument) and another mom is at home for the 16 then the mom at home has twice the time to devote to home and family. It's just basic math.

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 10:26 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I dont think that there is anything wrong with being a working mother. You can still love and care for your children even if you're not home 24/7. I am a SAHM and I love it but its not for everyone. Some people would go nuts being with their little one all day like I am. People just like to argue and act like their way of life is the best way but each family is different. If you dont feel you are missing out then just dont worry about what others might say.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 10:27 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I have done both and a SAHM does spend more time with the kids. On average kids are in daycare about 9 hours a day so that is 9 hours less that a WOHM has to do housework and spend with the kids. Yes because the kids are not home during those 9 hours there isn't as much mess to clean, but you still have the same amount of laundry etc. as the SAHM. Neither is better then the other it is whatever works for you and your family

    Answer by aeneva at 10:41 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Don't worry about what others think. Do what you feel is best for you and your family, that's all that matters...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:45 AM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • There is nothing wrong with working. SAHM may be in the home more but I don't buy that they are spending that whole time with their kids. think about it, shower, (30min), wash dishes/make lunch, (40 min), child naps, (2 hr.), run errands, (2.5hr), prepare dinner, (40 min), laundry/cleaning with child awake,(1 hour), on the phone/ in the bathroom/ on computer with child awake, (1n hr). Things working moms do while the children are asleep or while at work on break. Parents who work tend to spen more quality time


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Jun. 20, 2010