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Disciplining my children is so challenging, anyone have any suggestions that work?

My daughter is almost 9 and my son is 6. She backtalks, when I tell her to do something, she says "why" and then she tells me "I don't want to". What do I do??

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Asked by lil-mama-vegas at 1:20 PM on Jun. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I probably would have smacked her across the face and sent her to her room. Of course, it's my business, so that's where I would go. Anyway, make sure you are disciplining her each and every time, being consistent is the key. Also, let he know that you are in charge and you mean business. I do not believe in a child ever taking control. It's the way I was raised and the way I raised mine. Firmness is something that most are not good with these days. If you start when they are young, trust me, they know better. Don't be afraid to shut her in her room, take everything away from her, etc. If she gets to be too bad with the room thing, remove her door. Trust me mom, YOU need to gain control and do it now. That is not acceptable behavior EVER.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • consequences for actions. A lot easier said then done. There can be good consequences. As in, if you do this you will get that. Or there can be bad ones. If you dont do this you cannot have or do that. I have teens, dont even get me started!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Actually she's just being honest with you. Just answer her. She's getting to the adolescent stage which will be worse so don't sweat it, just roll with it so it doesn't overwhelm you. I don't think children should be punished for testing boundaries. It's a natural part of life. Don't see this as bad, see it as normal and an opportunity for you to teach her these boundaries. Just tell her why when she asks. I think it's a fair question and I'd give a an answer she understands. After a while she'll stop asking. As for the "I don't want to" I'd just say "I understand that you don't want to but sometimes in life we have to do things we don't want to do" Of course I'd remind her of the difference between not wanting to do chores and not wanting to be touched by strangers. Make sure she understands that sometimes it's ok to not want to (like saying no to molestation) and to say "no" then. Being a kid can be confusing. Just guide her

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:27 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • It just grieves my soul to hear a mother say she'd smack a child across the mouth for being a child who is being normal. They are not trying to control. They are trying to learn about life and wanting to grow up knowledgable. They test boundaries. That's fine. It's a good thing. That gives the mom a chance to guide her and teach her. I am not attempting to bash but from your own words anon, you are keeping the cycle of violence to children going. Let's break that cycle and teach our children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Jun. 20, 2010


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Honestly, watch Nanny 911. She uses all great reward/punishment systems. And trust me/her....this stuff works, you just have to STICK with it!

    Answer by haysmum at 3:14 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • My kids know if they backtalk or don't do something the first time I ask, they lose their screen time. If they do it again the same day, they are grounded which means this time of year they can't go to the pool. It's all about finding what motivates them and then removing that privilege when they misbehave.

    Answer by missanc at 8:21 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

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