Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Buying a house with my boyfriend, Grandmother helping!

My boyfriend and I now live in my home with my 3 kids. We are looking at purchasing a larger home where the 5 of us won't be right on top of each other all of the time. Affording it is no big deal. However, we cannot get the financing approval right now, so my boyfriend's grandmother is considering cosigning. I believe some companies will allow 3 parties to share a mtg... but the grandmother doesn't want me to be on the note unless we are married.... which I can totally understand. The thing is... this home is my a sense of security for me. Plus I want to put the equity Ive built up here down on the new home, but unless I am on the mtg, I don't feel comfortable doing this. I plan on being with this man for the long haul, but just don't feel right about this setup... Do any of you have advice to give or know of some other way around large purchases like this between unmarried couples?

Answer Question
 
ang7880

Asked by ang7880 at 11:04 PM on Jun. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I agree...as a divorced(and screwed over woman) do everything legally. you dont have to be married, but get it all legally documented.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:06 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I'm on the deed/title of the house, but not the mortgage because I'm a SAHM and my hubby got a better rate from the bank. Our lawyer assured us that if anything were to happen death, divorce, etc... everything would work out. Although you're not married so I would check with a lawyer and I know it varies by state, some states won't let you on the title if you're not on the mortgage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Thanks to both of you... Yes, I am on the deed of the house we currently live in, but it is still in my ex-husband's name. I just haven't done this unmarried before. Makes me nervous... I don't know why, because the way I feel about marriage now, it's just a piece of paper and a pretty ring... I guess an attorney could still draw up some legal document stating we have equal interest in the property.
    ang7880

    Answer by ang7880 at 11:24 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I say don't do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • I wouldn't do it. You will never be equal and if you ever break up you'll be the one they throw out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jun. 20, 2010

  • Please, please, please speak with a lawyer before committing to anything.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:31 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I would say talk to a lawyer & find out what would happen if you were to break up if you are only on the deed but not the mortgage, etc. Protect yourself & your kids from getting f-ed over.
    Another option might be to rent out your current home. Being a landlord is a PITA, but if I were given the choice, I would keep the safety available.
    Good luck :)
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 7:48 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Think Grandma is right on track there.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 1:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I never said I disagreed with the grandma... I completely see her point. But I'm sure you can see mine as well. If I'm going to throw 30k into a house for a down payment , I want something stating that it's mine as well. She would be completely different if we were married...... Emslala, I'm not sure if I want the hassle of renting it out. I already own one rental property, it's too much of a PiTA. Thanks.
    ang7880

    Answer by ang7880 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I would not put my money into a house my name was not on. Not to be a dooms-dayer, but if things don't work out then you'd be left high and dry! And I wouldn't count on anyone to do the "right" thing after a break up. Maybe contact a lawyer to find out how you can protect yourself without putting your name on it.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 7:56 AM on Jun. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN