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What was expected of you as you came upon your 18th birthday?

The behavior of some young people these days got me thinking. Did your parents expect you to finish school,go to college,work,move out,or was it not discussed?I'm interested in ladies who came of age in different decades.nowaday,for some,it seems parents are ok-ing teen pregnancy,no job or schooling,no moving out. I have a cousin who just had her 2nd child,no job,no child support expected from the dad,and she lives at home completely for free,does whatever she pleases,and her mom is ok with it. i noticed this seems to be a trend,because all her friends are in similar situations,and I got to thinking that apparently nothing is being expected of our young adults anymore. 20 years ago when I came of age,kids were leaving for their own lives no later than 21! I don't understand why they don't WANT their own lives. They seem to have no pride in themselves anymore!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on Jun. 21, 2010 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (44)
  • I was expected to have a job and to be prepared to move out as soon as I graduated from high school. My own children were expected to have jobs the summer before the started the 11th grade and to be ready to either go to college OR to go in to the military OR to get a BETTER PAYING job with more hours upon graduation and to be out on their own by the August following high school graduation. If they chose college (which 2 chose) they lived ON CAMPUS (it's a better experience annd allows a young adult more freedom) they were able to come home on weekends and holidays & if they chose the military (1 chose college & then the military and 1 chose to just go in to the military) or just a job (1 did) then they were on their own. We raised our children to be independent and to work for what they want in life. My children were also expected to graduate from high school. Had they not they would have had to move out the day they quit.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I was in college

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 10:36 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I know what you sister is the same way. In my house, when I was younger at least, it was known that once we graduated HS we needed to go to college (parents would pay for it if we went fulltime). So it was like a "fulltime" job to be working towards a degree. We still had to do chores and contribute to the household if we were living at home going to school fulltime. If we didn't go to school we had to get a fulltime job and pay rent, usually a % of what we were making and contribute with chores and the rest in the house.
    I plan to do this with my own kids as well. And I don't believe in allowance.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Most kids are still in high school when they are 18. With the unemployment rate being we can't require high school children to get jobs. I had 3 sons and we homeschooled and 2 have had jobs since they were 15 and the other since he was 17. Since I couldn't give them money for college, all 3 have lived with me some or all of the time they were in college. They also had financial aid and worked and contributed financially.

    My single oldest son is 30 and has lived with my youngest son and I off and on to help me financially. He now has a SO and they are living together and financially independent. My middle son has a wife and a baby. After he finished nursing school and got married they have been on their own except for a brief time they lived with me while finding a place to live when we moved to a new city.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:44 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I was expected to do what I wanted to do, and I chose to get an education.

    Answer by older at 10:47 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I'm disabled and I am now living with my 22 yo son in his house. He was able to buy his own 2 bed room house with a pool last year. I help with rent but my SSI isn't enough for me to live alone. I am only 54 and have to live with one of my children.

    Child support in Indiana continues until the child is 21 or emancipated, unless it very recently changed. Adult children behave badly because they are allowed to behave badly. They have always behaved badly. Their parents did not know how to parent. All they would do is hit, give time-outs, take things away, and use other punishments and when that didn't work they would say, "I've tried everything and nothing works." They did not learn effective parenting skills.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:54 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • i was never expected to go anywhere, and if i was my parents never told me. but i was very Independent and i think they knew that i wouldnt be there long lol. i ended up getting married at 16 and moving from las vegas to alaska.

    my little sister is such a "good girl" she will end up either living with my family to go to school or moving to go to school wich my family will pay for.

    and my little brother they are going to have to talk to him otherwise he will be there till he is 30. he lacks any sort of motivation.

    so i was the rebel, my sister is the goodie good, and my brother is just lazy.
    but it was never expected of me to go anywhere or pay anything at any certain age.

    Answer by joycegina at 10:56 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • My parent's always told me they would support me in what ever I decided to do. I was going to go to college but a month before I got scared. It was a few states away and I really didn't want to leave my boyfriend. I had a job and decided to move out about a month after I turned 18. My boyfriend moved in when he turned 18 a couple months later and a few months after that we got married. I worked and supported us and got him through college. I honestly do not like school. It was a miracle I graduated high school. I was happy working as a grocery clerk. I am a sahm now but I am hoping to some day go back to work as a grocery store clerk. I will support my son in his choice to do what he wants. My parents never talked down to me when I told them at 18 I was moving out and shortly after getting married. They have treated my husband like their son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I am 22 now, and coming up on my 18th birthday it was basically up to me to do what I wanted. My parents have 5 kids, I'm in the middle. My older brother moved out when he was 17, got a good job and dropped out of school, making $100,000/year. My sister turned 18 in Feb, graduated and moved in with her boyfriend in June, and here we are 6 years later they're getting married. I stayed at home for two years to finish school (as long as I was living at home my parents would help me pay for bills and what not), then I moved out, got married, had a baby, and now my two younger brothers are both 21 and living at home while in school. We were all free to do what we wanted, there was never an "expectation" besides to follow the rules of the home (ie. let them know if we weren't coming home, help do housework, etc.).

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I was expected to graduate HS and go to college. Done and done!!

    Answer by KairisMama at 11:18 AM on Jun. 21, 2010