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Have you ever experience someone leaving a church because of you?

My husband and I had "friends" that moved from out of state and attended our church. My husband became close with him and her and I WERE close, but apparently she didn't like her hubby going out with mine and having a beer or two. We are I suppose somewhat liberal. Well, this guy got a DUI on his own having nothing to do with my hubby, she LOST IT on him, they got weird, and left our church. Now, all our "mutual" friends exclude me from everything, and they were making so many excuses not to make plans with us (being "busy") and then I find out...they've been hanging out with my sister and brother in law who we are VERY close to. My dad gave them this huge lecture and I flipped on my sister that she'd hang out with somebody who had treated us so horrible. They're spreading rumors and even told the pastor there was a "bad influence" that made them leave, but didn't mention our names. Has this ever happened to anyone??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jun. 21, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (12)
  • wow i am sorry that happened to you. I have never had that happen no have i left a church due to another member in the congregation. I have left do to a pastor or two.


    Answer by MomOfDagJag at 2:48 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I drink a beer sometimes.And our family goes to church.Maybe you should go to a new church and get a fresh start.( If this doesn't blow over)

    Answer by evelynwest at 2:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • This has been my church since 2nd grade and they just started coming a year ago. Everyone scrambled to be their friends, and instead of just choosing to leave, they've caused all kinds of issues. My dad says he feels they are trying to stir up trouble and bust up our family. BIL is a worship leader, so is my husband. I just feel that they need to go make their own friends and not try to backstab us by buddying up with my sister. BIL is JUST LIKE my hubby and he really was just going along w/ it, it's the wife that sucks, and wants to try to get him with "good influences". These people have kids' around our kids' ages and they were friends. This woman has zero in common with my sister, my sister has no kids and they're complete opposite personalities. BIL told my hubby that he is only going to dinner with them this once to see what's up since now he knows they screwed us he's pissed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • that's crazy. sorry that happened. a beer or 2 isn't wrong in the least. if that man had a drinking problem he shouldn't have been out having anything.

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 3:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Not that I am aware of. :)

    Answer by Daphna28 at 3:49 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Biggest thing Ive noticed is people have a hard time accepting responsibility for their own actions or letting those close to them take responsibility for actions. Sounds like what those people are doing...avoiding responsibility.

    I have not known anyone who left on my account(when I was a church goer that is)but Ive seen plenty leave based on others actions and known who caused the split.


    Answer by Amaranth361 at 5:42 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • I've run off a few here on cafemom, but when I was a christian it was I who left because of my CHURCH. I was the one who was chased away.

    Answer by witchqueen at 9:44 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • OP here--I in no way want to abandon my faith, but this among other forms of judgement and rejection make me want to leave my church. It's in no reflection of my pastor, who thinks highly of us, but just the PURE REJECTION I am getting, I got squeezed out of the moms group and they're all a big clique. I sat and bawled all night at work, I had to go to the bathroom several times to cry. It sucks that the people in my life who love and accept me are my non-Christian friends. It makes me understand why people abandon their faith. I won't do that...but...still...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • This is what happens when one is indulging in behavior that leads to a downslide and then the icing on the cake... denial and blame! Don't worry that they left the church and blamed it on you. I am sure everyone in the church is aware that they are adults and that they should be past "peer pressure" by now. Pray for them, they are in desperate need of it. They need to have their eyes opeened and they need the love of the Lord to turn their hearts.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • You can find nutty people anywhere and these too seem like they are using you and dh to cover up their own personal problems. Her dh might have more of a drinking problem then you realize and she is enabling him by making excuses and blaming others. I wouldn't be anger, and you can't stop them from spreading rumors, just don't stoop to their level. Let your sister and BIL hang out with them, they'll probably be their next target the next time something goes wrong for them.

    Don't say anything negative about them, set a better example, that is all you can do.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 1:02 AM on Jun. 22, 2010

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