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What can I do ladies this is getting sooooooo very old :( ??? (dh problem)

God my dh makes me so mad he wants me and the kids to be at home while he works the night shift. I told him b4 that my aunt n cousin were coming down to visit and I was planning on going to visit. didn't say nothing then when the day came I call him at his work to let him know where I plan to be he's like oh ok be careful I am like ok talk to u later luv u...Anyway today before he goes back to work he tells me he DOES NOT want us stepping out I am like well I would have liked to go see my family before they leave they r leaving Tues. man he threw a fit after he made me fell like shit and made me sad/cry he says ok go ahead that would be fine I am like WTF? Why didn't u just say this from the begining. I told him I don't know what past bitch messed you that u have to be this way but get over it. I think it could be a little of insecurity, jealous bc he can't hang out with us and he has to work and controlling.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • This is what I would tell him ..

    "Under no circumstances do you dictact when I leave this home, where I go, or who I go with. You do not ever ban me from leaving my home. If I wish to leave the home then I will do as I please. If you have an issue with that, then you need to work that out by yourself."

    If someone else in his past made him have trust issues then you need to tell him .. My husband had HORRIBLE trust issues when we got together and I finally had to tell him .. "I am not them, I don't want to be them, and I don't care to ever carry out their actions. If you are made or hurt by what they did then you need to take that up with them. I am not going to be punished for what they did. I have done NOTHING to cause you to question me or cause you to not trust me. Don't punish me for something I've never and will never do." .. It ended there.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Maybe he's more worried about things happening to you and his child going out at night??? It's quite possible it has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurities.
    AngeLnChainZ

    Answer by AngeLnChainZ at 5:44 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • So, you aren't "Allowed" to leave the house at all if he isn't at home? WTF? I would tell him in no uncertain terms that I am grown and if I feel the need to step out and visit my aunt I will, whether you are home or at work or whatever. And that he could kiss my ass. What is you needed to run to the store to get something? Or any other reason? He expects you to just sit at home because he is at work? Hell naw....I would have put my foot down the first time those words slipped out of his mouth.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Could it be that he is worried that something will happen to you when he is not there to protect you? If he is just trying to control what you do, then perhaps counseling would be in order.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 5:47 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • OP here thank u Angelnchainz but I guess when I said nights I don't mean very dark it is still day light I try to be home before dark. I can see his point there too but I guess it's the way he talks to me his tone :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • My DH used to work 3rd shift and he didn't want me out either because it was at night, alone, pregnant and with kids. I don't know if that's where your DH is coming from, but that was why my DH was concerned.
    CAGirl4

    Answer by CAGirl4 at 5:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • Nobody has control over you. You simply allow it. He will get over himself if you decide to be your own person. He is manipulating you if you are crying for thinking of leaving the house. That's crazy girl.
    forevermom75

    Answer by forevermom75 at 6:00 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • trying to keep you away from friends and family is control
    IMO
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:04 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

  • the only person i was ever in a relationship who tried to control my movements (he never wanted me to go anywhere without him) was verbally abusive, then physically (once - i made sure that he was more scared of me after that - he wouldn't move out), and also cheated on me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Jun. 21, 2010

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